


Hidden Secrets

by mochi2zhonglele



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, NCT Dream - Freeform, Nct2018, Romance, cause i don't dare, i just love markno, jeno is hiding something, mark gets suspicious, mentioned nomin, no smut at all, renjun and taeyong are moms, some kissing here and there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-06-26 06:58:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15658113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochi2zhonglele/pseuds/mochi2zhonglele
Summary: As leader of NCT Dream, Mark knows everything. But he wasn't given any explanation to why Jeno won't be promoting.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> okay i have absolutely no idea how to make this fic chaptered so yeah. i'll try and fiddle around with the settings.
> 
> ALSO, if yall don't like mpreg and is simply uncomfortable then there is such thing as the exit button cause no i don't want any negative comments here. 
> 
> anyways enjoy!! 
> 
> p.s don't expect fast updates. just saying. cause authornim is both lazy and busy ^^

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark wants to see Jeno

"Are you okay? You look pale."

The dancer nodded his head, mumbling under his breath that he is fine. He knew well the leader won't buy it, neither he is the type to push one for answers. The other left without a word but he could feel eyes on him as he walked away.

"Your dance moves aren't good enough! One more time!" Mr Kim, the choreographer bellowed, crossing his arms before walking to the speaker and punching the play button for the song to play again.

The members groaned and got to their positions. The music started and the members started to dance. They are exhausted after two hours of practice but they knew well not to mess up especially with the older man's eyes on them. They'd rather tire themselves than entertaining their tired selves and ending up going home late. The only key to go home is to impress the choreographer and they are willing to give their all in that. They collapsed to the floor right when the song ended, trying to catch their breaths. Deep inside they wanted to stab Mr Kim to death when he shook his head in disappointment.

"It is exactly the same mistakes you all do." He said with a tone of disapproval in his voice. "Why aren't you dancing sharply? Why are you getting so lazy?"

The seven kept quiet.

"Renjun, Chenle." Mr Kim called, making the Chinese members look up. "You two need more practice. I don't care if you aren't main dancers. I want your dance as perfect as Jisung and Jeno."

The two members nodded, hands curled into fists. "Yes, Mr Kim."

"Mark. Can you stop spacing out? You can't glance around at other members because you keep forgetting your part." He stated. "You too, Haechan. Luckily for you two, your dances are getting better."

"But Mr Kim.... we are in two or more units. We can't tire ourse-" The leader tried to say, only to be stopped.

"I don't care. I worked on this choreography hard and you aren't going to mess this up. You can mess up U choreographies or 127's but not this one. Work hard for Go. I won't take any excuses."

Haechan and Mark looked at each other desperately. "Alright, Mr Kim." They said in unison.

"Jisung, keep up the good work. But can you at least look interested dancing when it's not your part?" The older man sighed.

"I'll try." The maknae said lazily.

"Jaemin, you are lacking in your dancing. Has the hiatus taken a toll on you?"

The eighteen year old pursed his lips.

"And you, Jeno. What happened? You're losing focus. Do I need to splash some water to your face to wake you up? And what's with your makeup? There is no need to wear makeup doing practice."

Everyone's heads turned to look at their main dancer. Jeno looked worn out to the core and it has been a while since they have seen this version of him. The said male looked up and gazed into Mr Kim's disappointed eyes but he didn't respond. Mark craned his neck to get a better view of Jeno since he was sitting at the other corner of the practice room.

"I'm sorry." The dancer whispered loud enough to be heard.

"I also expecting much more from you. Should I degrade you from main dancer to lead now?" Mr Kim threatened.

Jeno shook his head. "I'll work harder, Mr Kim."

Mark hated how Mr Kim would drill them to get choreographies right. Jeno was deadly pale, even if he was putting on makeup, he was never this pale. The leader wasn't the only one who is concerned for Jeno's well-being, the rest of the members were eyeing the dancer with worried eyes. Haechan grabbed the other's hand and squeezed it softly. Jeno gave the tanned male a small smile but it saddens the members how his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"I'm not letting any of you go until you get this right." Mr Kim barked. "I need them well done, executed perfectly, with no errors! If we leave at midnight, we will leave at midnight. I. Don't. Care."

Mark bit his lip. He and Haechan are used to overloading practices since he was in three units and Haechan in two but this is going to take a huge effect on the other members. The older man was about to press the play button until there was a knock on the door.

"Mr Kim?"

The members rolled their eyes when Mr Kim's fierce look turned soft, turning his body to the direction of the sound.

"Yes, Seona?" He asked, sweetly making the idols gag.

Seona peeked her head in and smiled. "Can you release them early today? Mark and Haechan has practice for 127 in two hours time and Mark has a recording session for U soon. I heard from Sooman he doesn't want them to be too exhausted. Can you wrap it up? I'll fetch them soon in fifteen." She asked.

Mr Kim as whipped as he is, nodded his head. "Sure, Seona. Anything else?"

"That's all, Mr Kim. Thank you!" She chirped happily before closing the door behind her.

Immediately his expression morphed. "You lucky people. Two more times and I'll let you all go." He sneered.

They all were hiding their smiles and nodded their heads. Mr Kim punched the play button, the song blasting through the speakers. Mark couldn't focus at that point of time as worry filled in everytime he passed by Jeno. The younger looked deadly, white as sheet but yet he forced himself to practice. His eyes were fixed on Jeno when he took the centre during his rap, who's timing was a little off after hitting the floor unlike the other members.

"Hey, don't lie to me. Are you okay? You don't seem well." Mark asked between pants, handing a bottle of water to the latter.

Jeno didn't respond, nodded and took the bottle from the older. Mark's eyebrows furrowed when he realised the younger took a few sips before putting a hand over his mouth, gagging.

"I'm serious, Jeno. You're not well. You need to rest." The Canadian said sternly.

"I'm fine. Stop worrying." Jeno croaked.

"You're not fine. I'll tell Mr Kim-"

Before Mark could complete his sentence, the music started once again, forcing the two to separate to their respective positions. Mr Kim was leaning against the mirror watching them, probably what was pushing Jeno to dance. Mark was telling himself to focus and get this over with but he only made himself feel more worried when Jeno tumbled over his feet, almost falling flat on his face at the last chorus. Mr Kim pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"I don't understand you. The more you practice, the more terrible you are. That doesn't make sense." He said. "Since Seona isn't here yet, practice one more-"

Mark fought the urge to punch into the air when a knock could be heard from the direction of the door, Seona's head peeking in again.

"Are you finished, Mr Kim?" She asked.

"Yes, Seona. Would you like to fetch Haechan and Mark now?"

"Of course!"

Without needing any instructions the two 127 members walked to the brown haired lady, not before bowing to Mr Kim. Seona briefed them about their schedule as they closed the door behind her.

"Woah, Jeno, are you okay?" Mark heard Renjun exclaim.

The three turned their heads back and the Canadian felt his heart break when the first thing he saw was Renjun struggling to keep himself standing with Jeno's dead weight against him. The dancer was unconscious, slowly brought to a lying position on the couch, the other members and Mr Kim surrounding the motionless boy. As the leader Mark wants to dash in and check Jeno's condition. But Seona had dragged them away before he had the chance to help.  
  


 

 

Jeno wasn't there the day after.

Mark brushed it off thinking he might have needed a day or two of rest. He didn't want to call him either so he wouldn't disturb him. He tried asking the manager what happened but was dismissed and being told Jeno needs rest.  
  


 

 

A week passed and Jeno hasn't showed up after that day's practice.  
  


 

 

"He didn't even turn up at school." Renjun informed, worry laced in his voice.

"It's been a week now." Mark said, running a hand through his dyed brown locks of hair. "And manager-nim isn't telling us anything."

The door to the practice room opened and once again Mark's hopes of Jeno coming to practice was shattered at the sight of Jisung and Chenle entering. He felt a hand on his. Renjun must have sensed his distress.

"Try asking him again." He whispered, squeezing the older's hand.

Mark shook his head, resting his elbows on his thighs, letting his head hang low. "It's not going to work, Injun. I tried. Nothing." He said, sighing.

"Hyung, you okay?"

He looked up to see the concerned looks from Chenle and Jisung. He put on a smile on his face which doesn't reach his eyes, just so he could assure them. But the two are not idiots to know that there is something bothering the leader.

"Hyung, is it about Jeno?" Chenle guessed, putting his hands into his pockets.

Mark didn't respond and looked away. At the corner of his eyes, he could see Renjun angrily shushing the two with sign language. By that the maknaes left, settling on the floor for a short chat but not without glancing at their leader once in a while. Haechan entered the practice room, eyes on his phone and Jaemin trailing behind him.

"I have news to tell you guys." Haechan began, stopping to stand in front of them.

"What is it?" Jisung asked.

"It's about Jeno."

Mark's head snapped up, eyes wide.  "What about him?"

Haechan took a deep breath before putting his phone down. "Jeno is going to be on hiatus. He won't be coming back for now."

Mark's heart sank. "W-what?"

"I got news from manager-nim. He didn't tell me why....." The tanned male said, putting a hand on his hip.

"Did you try asking?"

"I did. He left me on read."

Renjun squeezed the leader's hand tighter. The atmosphere had dropped silent and awkward after the news.

"When are we ever going to have a comeback as a whole? Jaemin-hyung just came back." Chenle reminded them.

Jaemin kept quiet and sat at the empty space on the couch beside Mark. The door opened again and Mark couldn't even bother looking up as he knew it won't be Jeno. A new voice was heard and without needing to look, he knew it was their new choreographer, Mr Ahn. Mr Kim was fired the day Jeno fainted. Mark got up from his seat and walked out from the practice room. Mr Ahn didn't call him back, probably knowing he needed a time out from all the sudden news.  
  


 

 

_jeno-yah_  
_can i come see you??_  
_i want to know how you are doing right now...._  
_when i got the news you are going on a hiatus ever so suddenly, i got scared._  
_please don't leave me on read again._

**read**  
**12:45pm**  
  


 

 

It's been a month and Mark had endlessly tried digging for information. Jeno had moved to a different place and he had no clue where his new house is. Their manager won't tell them a thing, same goes to Sooman. In a way Mark felt betrayed. He's the leader and he had the right to know everything that evolves the Dreamies. But no one is willing to spill the beans.

"Minhyung. Focus."

The two words snapped him out from his thoughts in an instant. He blinked and gulped at the sight of Taeyong looking at him in the eyes. They are currently in U's practice room and the members have stopped dancing. Mark didn't even realise that as he was too caught up with his worries.

"You're losing focus, Minhyung. Are you okay?"

Why does everyone keep asking him that?!

"No... I'm just worried." Mark confessed.

"It's about Jeno isn't it?" Taeyong spoke with a soft voice. "Don't worry. I'm sure he's alright. Why don't you go visit him o r day?"

"I wish I could.... I don't know his address." The Canadian sighed, playing with the ends of his sleeve. "If only I had his parents' number, I can-"

Taeyong cocked his head. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I have all the contacts. I can give you Jeno's parents' number if you want."

"Can you?" Mark asked, eyes glistening with hope.

"Of course! I'll send you the numbers later but now," the older paused, putting a hand on Mark's shoulder. "Let's focus, can we?"  
  
  


 

 

**Dialing......**

Mark fidgeted on his bed as he waited for the other side to pick up. He placed the phone on his bed as he sat crossed legged, looking at the lit up screen. He glanced outside the window and watched the busy roads in the lively night. He wonders what is Jeno doing out there. He pressed the loudspeaker button and listened to the rings. It didn't take long until he heard a muffled,

"Hello?"

He grabbed the phone swiftly and turned the loudspeaker off, putting it against his ear. "Mrs Lee?"

"Yes that's me. May I know who this is I am talking to?" She asked nicely.

"It's Mark. Jeno's band mate."

"Oh, hello? Why have you called?"

"Can I come over?" Mark asked, crossing his fingers hoping he would be given the consent.

Mrs Lee kept quiet. Through the phone he could hear footsteps and the creaking of a door opening along with hushed whispers. He couldn't really make up what the other was saying but he could hear stuff like "should we?", "it's Mark" and "his manager".

"Mrs Lee?" He called.

It took a while until she responded back. "Yeah, you can come. But come alone. I'll send you the address later"

The Canadian doesn't get it. Why are they all so secretive over this?  
  
  


 

Mrs Lee opened the door almost immediately when he knocked. She had a smile on her face but Mark knew well that it was just a way to welcome him. He could see the bags growing under her eyes. Mrs Lee is young for a mother with two teenagers but her skin was sagged, something he had never seen. She invited her in and Mark gaped at the new house. It was beautiful and nicely decorated.

"Since Jeno is forbidden from leaving the house, we decided to stay here where there is a view." Mrs Lee murmured.

Mark nodded as he could see a view of a garden at one of the windows. It was an extravagant apartment, maybe Jeno has been sending them money that they can afford such apartment. Mrs Lee brought him to the kitchen where cookies were displayed on the kitchen table.

"Come sit." She said, pulling the chair for the latter.

"Thank you." He bowed. "I haven't gotten a word from Jeno for a really long time.... I'm worried. Is he okay?"

Mrs Lee sighed. "I'm not one to tell you. Jeno can. But he's not in a state where he can talk to anyone. He even refuse to talk to me. It saddens me that my son has to go through so much at a young age." She whispered, pouring a cup of warm milk for him and herself. "How are you doing, Mark? Are you coping well being in three units?"

Mark knew Mrs Lee was only trying to divert the topic away from Jeno. By the way she was talking about his Jeno, he knew whatever the dancer is going through isn't pleasant at all. As they talk, Mark could occasionally hear a door slamming open and retching sounds. He doesn't need to crack his brain to know who it was. Just by the sounds he knew it was Jeno. He felt sad he wasn't there for him right now when his teammate was going through a hard time.

"Can.. I see Jeno? Just for a while?" The Canadian tried to ask after ten minutes worth of talking.

"I don't think he wants any visitor at the moment. He doesn't feel-" Mrs Lee reasoned.

"Please, Mrs Lee. I might not be able to see him afterwards." Mark begged.

The lady sighed. "Alright. Just to tell you he might be asleep now." She said. "He's in the master bedroom, the last door in the hall."

Mark got up from his seat and bowed thank you to Mrs Lee before walking deeper into the apartment. The door to the master bedroom was ajar and he peeked his head inside, holding back a gasp when he saw a figure moving around in the room. The night light illuminated only a part of the room but just by that little amount of light he knows it was Jeno. He pushed the door to open it bigger, eyes scanning the younger's small built.

It shocked him to see Jeno like that. Jeno was the most muscular and fit among them, seeing him at this state made him want to cry. He has an oversized t-shirt on that reached his knees and Mark remembered oversized clothes was never Jeno's style. He sat on the bed, his legs dangling from the mattress. He hasn't noticed Mark by the door yet, for now. He slipped his feet underneath the blankets and placed a hand on his lower body before slowly lying on his side. As far as Mark knows, Jeno hates sleeping on his side.

"Jeno." He whispered loud enough.

The said boy got up from his lying position and snapped his head at the familiar voice that doesn't belong to his mother. "M-Mark hyung.... what are you doing here?" He stammered.

Mark stepped into the room. "You didn't answer me. I'm worried for you, Jeno. How are you? Are you sick? Did you hurt yourself or something?" He asked, taking slow steps towards the frozen male.

"It's n-nothing...." Jeno whispered.

"It can't be nothing. You are going on a hiatus. There must be a reason why."

Mark's voice was calm and soft but you can hear a tinge of worry and desperation at the edge of his voice. Jeno didn't move, playing with his fingers. The Canadian sat at the edge of the bed.

"Tell me, Jeno. You can trust me. It hurts when a leader like me wasn't allowed to know what is going on." The older assured.

Jeno kept quiet.

"Please... I care about you." Mark begged. After knowing the latter won't answer, he stood up. "Fine. If you don't want me to know, it's alright." He said, not even attempting to hide the sadness laced in his voice.

Right when he was about to leave, a hand wrapped itself around his wrist. Mark's heart shattered when he heard a sob.

"Stay.... Please." Jeno requested in a hush voice. "It's lonely here. I'm not allowed out."

Mark sighed and turned around, sighing when tears fell from Jeno's eyes and onto the blanket. He sat at the edge but Jeno tugged onto his sleeve more. He hesitated in the beginning but eventually he slipped under the covers, letting Jeno cuddle against him. His heart skipped a beat when Jeno snuggled into his chest, wrapping his arms around his waist, bringing their bodies close. Jeno isn't the type to cling to someone, let alone cuddle this close.

"I'm sorry."

The leader can only sigh as he let Jeno accustom to him. He heard soft whimpers and sobs which later turned into sniffles. Mark looked down to see Jeno deep asleep in his arms. He pushed the strands of hair behind the latter's ear and held back a little laugh when Jeno whined and hugged him tighter. He had hugged him every once in a while but something about Jeno was a little odd. He could feel something hard and round against his thigh and he had absolutely no idea what it was. He shrugged it off and played with Jeno's hair.

"Mark?"

Mrs Lee's voice had pulled him out from his thoughts. Mark didn't even realise how much time had passed. He pried Jeno's arms from his body and slowly got out from bed, making sure he won't make any noise.

"Has he told you?" She asked.

"He haven't." Mark said, lips pursing.

"He'll tell you once he's comfortable." Mrs Lee smiled. "I called a cab for you. It'll be here in five minutes. It's getting late. I'm sure the rest of your team is getting worried."

"Thank you, Mrs Lee."

"No problem."  
  


 

 

Mark was surprised to see a text message from Jeno while he was at 127 practice.

_why did you leave??_  
_stay with me tomorrow again......_  
_please._


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark visits Jeno again for the second time.

It was continuous practice for Mark as he kept on juggling with Dream, U and 127 practices with only few small breaks in between. He was worn off but he kept telling himself he has to get used to it and everything will be over when he turns 20 internationally, that's when he will be one unit lesser. It has been a month since they hired a substitute for Jeno's position and Mark wasn't used to it. It was just one of the back up dancers who had helped Mr Kim with the choreography so he wasn't hard to deal with. But it has a different feeling to see some stranger dancing along in the formation. He huffed and threw himself onto his bed, the sound he made made Renjun stir awake.

"You're back." The Chinese said, yawning, bringing himself to a sitting position.

"You don't have to wake up. It's half past nine. And you have practice tomorrow." Mark stated.

"No it's okay. Are you going to visit Jeno soon?"

"Yeah. Hopefully he is awake by then."

Renjun yawned loudly, rubbing his eyes and grabbed his phone to check if there was any messages before snuggling under the blankets. "I don't think so but if he was the one who wanted you to come, maybe he is still awake. Who knows?"

Mark hummed. He flicked his wrist to check the time on his watch and made a mental note to wake up fifteen minutes for a short power nap before he could leave for Jeno's.

"Also, please try to make it not obvious you are leaving the house. Taeyong-hyung warned that they might not allow you to visit him. And you don't want it risk anything." Renjun spoke up after a few minutes of silence.

The Canadian nodded even though he knew Renjun couldn't see it and leaned back to get a short power nap, accidentally slept in a little longer than he told himself to.   
  


Mark knew it was almost going eleven and there was a high possibility Jeno is asleep but it wouldn't hurt to try. He was pretty shocked seeing the bright lights through the gap between the door and floor. Nevertheless he knocked onto the door.He waited for Mrs Lee or Mr Lee to open the door, but there was no one. He knocked again, unconsciously tapping his feet as he waited for the door to open. After three long minutes outside knocking and knocking, Mark took his phone out and dialed Jeno's number but he was sent to voice mail to his dismay. He huffed and knocked once more, waited for another seconds before pressing the green button to call Mrs Lee, putting the phone beside his ear. He didn't hear the phone ring from outside.

"This is Mrs Lee speaking."

"Hi, this is Mark."

"Oh hi, Mark. How are you? Why are you not asleep now? It's late, sweetie."

"I'm doing fine, Mrs Lee. I'm outside the door."

There was silence from the other line and Mark could sense that she was trying to make sense to what the Canadian had said.

"What are you doing outside the door?" Mrs Lee asked, her voice thick with confusion.

"Jeno asked me to come over." Dread ran down Mark's veins. "Mrs Lee, are you at home?"

"Oh no, I'm on a business trip and husband is on shift tonight. I'm sorry to keep you waiting, dearie. Do you need me to ask my friend who is living nearby to send you back to your dorm? I'm scared Jeno is asleep by now."

Mark blinked. "The lights are turned on."

"It is? Maybe he is awake? Did you try knocking again?" She suggested.

He shook his head even though he knew the other side won't be able to see it. "I did but I don't think he heard me."

Mrs Lee hummed from the end of the line. "There is a spare key in the potted plant beside the door. I hope you don't mind getting your hands dirty."

"Oh no no, I don't mind." Mark said, crouching down.

"I have to go, sweetie. If you need anything, feel free to make yourself at home."

Mrs Lee didn't wait for the other to reply, chirped a cheerful "goodbye" before putting the phone down. Mark shrugged and placed his gadget into his pocket, tried digging for the key. After getting his dainty looking hand stained with damp soil, he held the key like it was fragile, slowly inserting it into the keyhole and didn't realise he was smiling in success. The apartment was brightly lit but it was empty and quiet. Taking off his shoes he took slow steps into the house, eyes scanning for his band mate. There was no one in the kitchen, the living room or dining room so Jeno was definitely in his room.

The door was closed and Mark was about to twist the knob open until he heard retching and gagging sounds coming from inside. He thought he would give Jeno some privacy and wait for a while but it didn't stop for what felt like hours. He opened the door, peeking his head in to see the bathroom toilet door open wide, it's light turned on bright for the other side of the world to see. The bed was empty and the blankets were a mess like as if it was thrown off as he was on a rush. He approached the bathroom, gasping to see his band mate on his knees, practically hugging the toilet bowl.

"Jeno, you ok-"

Mark's sentence was interrupted when Jeno dry heaved, as if he wanted to throw up. He stood there watching. He never thought the younger would be this sick. Jeno jerked forward and gagged, trying his best to remove whatever that was in him. The Canadian eventually came in, squatting beside the latter, rubbing his back. Jeno didn't seem to stop, continued heaving into the bowl. He took a few deep breaths and tried to get up after his body stopped forcing things out that doesn't even exist in him, only falling into Mark's arms thanks to his jelly like legs.

"H-hyung.... What are y-you doing here? It's late." Jeno stammered.

"You told me to come and I came. Besides, there isn't any schedule tomorrow." Mark shrugged, as he tried to pull Jeno to his feet.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." The Korean whispered, holding onto the older's forearm to keep him steady.

"Why must you apologise? I care about you. I must apologise for not being here on time."

Jeno gave him a soft smile which his eyes mirrored and it melted Mark's heart. He helped the younger take small steps to the sink, where Jeno gurgled his mouth over and over to remove the stench. Mark could feel how light Jeno was by just holding onto him and it hurts. He kept his hold on the latter tight to not let him fall flat to his face. He helped Jeno back to his bed, tucking him in.

"Hyung, how is the comeback going?" He heard the younger ask.

He sighed. "We're not coming back until your hiatus ends."

"W-What? My hiatus is long, hyung. You shouldn't wait for me. I don't mind being.. excluded from the comeback this time." Jeno said, hesitating when he said the last part.

"How long is your hiatus, Jeno? I'm sure if it's just a few months we can-"

Jeno looked away. "A year."

Mark blinked. "A year? Are you alright? Do you have cancer or something? Is your disk herniated like Jaemin's? Are you sick?" He asked, not noticing he had bombarded the poor boy with questions.

"It's nothing, hyung."

"Are..... Are you leaving?"

The younger let out a soft gasp.

"Like Hansol hyung?" Mark added, his tone becoming darker.

"Hyung,I will never do that." Jeno insisted.

"People don't go under a hiatus without a reason called **Nothing.** There must be a reason that you're not telling me." The Canadian's tone had became stern. "Why is it so hard to tell me, huh? You can let the managers know but not me? What do you have against me? Against NCT? You're leaving aren't you."

A tear fell from Jeno's eye. "Hyung... Why are you saying this? I care about NCT. I would d-dare leave NCT."

"Then what's the reason?"

The room fell silent once again. With Mark staring at Jeno's lying figure, he could feel his cool leaving him.

"Jeno."

"I'll tell you hyung but please..." Jeno's voice broke. "Not now."

Mark sighed. "Fine. Now go to sleep." He urged, sitting at the corner of the bed.

He patted the latter's thigh, as if he was putting a toddler to sleep but by the way Jeno was breathing, he was nowhere close to sleeping.

"Hyung." Jeno called.

"Yes?"

"You don't have any schedules tomorrow right?"

"No I don't. Why?"

"Sleep with me tonight. It's lonely."

He could hear a small sniff and with that he gave in, slipping under the blankets. Mark could feel Jeno hesitating to snuggle closer to him, so he wrapped an arm around the younger's figure and brought him close to his chest. Jeno buried his face into Mark's chest and let out a shaky breath. A spot of his shirt became wet but he didn't bother to question as he let Jeno wet his shirt with his tears. He stared into the darkness. Mark had lost the Lee Jeno he once knew and he still had to accustom himself to the Lee Jeno he is holding on to. He played with the other's black hair.

_Are you dying? Why are you crying? Are you scared? Are you sick? Is there something bothering you? Or have we done something wrong? Did we offend you? Are you contemplating whether you should leave NCT or not? Jeno why aren't you telling me anything?_

The Canadian looked down at the now sleeping male.

_So peaceful. Those eyelashes.... so beautiful. His skin.... so smooth. And those pink lips.... so kissable-_

He shook his head in a snap. He used his free hand to hit his head.

_What were you thinking you perv!_

Mark checked his phone on the bedside table. **12:46.** He set his phone setting on Silent and closed his eyes, letting fatigue engulf him and bring him to dreamland.   
  


"Hyung....."

Not an hour later Mark could feel Jeno poking his chest as if to wake him up. He grumbled and was about to toss around until he realised the grip around his waist. Rubbing his eyes, he looked down to see those wide puppy eyes that belonged to Jeno.

_God he's cute- fuck, Mark is your mind okay?! You need sleep boi._

"Are you okay, Jen?" He asked with a raspy voice.

"I'm hungry."

Mark sprang his eyes open. He reached for his phone and squinted his eyes at the blinding brightness of his phone screen. It's only half past one and Jeno is hungry. He gazed into the latter's eyes.

"It's in the middle of the night, Jen. Go to sleep." Mark said, throwing an arm over his head to cover his eyes.

"But I'm hungry.... I want a smoothie." Jeno spoke with a soft voice.

"At this hour?!" The Canadian exclaimed, removing his arm, staring at the younger's eyes. "The shops are closed by now."

Jeno bit his lip. "Please? Make for me one." He whined, his eyes turning glassy.

_What the hell is wrong with him? Oh god._

"Okay okay, fine. I'll make you one." Mark groaned, pushing the covers off him and peeling Jeno's arms from his waist.

He wasn't that familiar with Jeno's home that he had to keep opening the cardboards to check the ingredients. One of his eyes were closed, refusing to open. He couldn't believe it that he was actually entertaining Jeno in the middle of the night at 1 fucking 30 AM! He carefully handled the knife to cut a few fruits since he knew his already blur eyesight won't cooperate especially in the morning. Mark slowly walked his way back to the bedroom and mentally facepalmed himself at the sight of Jeno lying down on the bed with eyes closed, like as if he hadnt requested for smoothie not less than ten minutes ago.

"Jeno..." He called, putting the cup of smoothie on the desk beside the closet.

The younger whined and made grabby hands. "Hyung..."

Sighing for gods knows how many times, Mark brought the smoothie along and helped Jeno sit up. There was a sleepy smile on the Korean's face as he sipped onto the straw. Mark rubbed his face with his hands and checked the time again. **1:38AM.** He has to leave by six tomorrow morning. He knows he has no schedule the next day but he isn't going to risk being caught by the managers that he had been sneeking out of the dorm to see Jeno. He watched the younger drink his smoothie away, Jeno's eyes criss crossed as he looked at the blue straw Mark provided him with. His lips curled into a small smile. He doesn't really see this side of Jeno that much, probably cause he was always with 127 or Jeno just never really showed this side of him but he has to admit.

This version of Lee Jeno is.....

_cute._

His eyes fell on Jeno's hand that wasn't holding the cup. It was on his tummy, gently massaging it. He wanted to ask why he was doing that but to him, it was something small and trivial. Jeno only continued, massaging his tummy and rubbing it occasionally. Mark looked away, after realising he had been staring a little too long. Jeno let out one loud slurp before putting the empty cup on the nightstand.

"I still wonder how does a cup of smoothie calms down you hunger." Mark told him, crossing his arms.

"I wasn't hungry...." Jeno whispered, guilty. "I was craving for smoothie these days. No one was willing to get them for me."

Mark formed his lips into a straight line. "Wow, you forced me awake to satisfy your cravings?"

"Sorry." Jeno said, fiddling with the hem of his tee.

Rolling his eyes and letting a small smile form on his lips, he slipped under the covers again and pulled Jeno closer to him, sharing the warmth. Jeno nuzzled his nose into the crook of Mark's neck, his breath ghosting against the older's skin. He ran his fingers through Jeno's black hair and hummed, hoping to bring the boy to sleep. It kind of worked cause in like a minute Jeno was snoring softly. Mark scanned the sleeping boy's face. His heart raced a thousand kilometres per hour and he was damn glad that Jeno didn't wake up from his heart that was threatening to beat out his ribcage. He doesn't know why he's feeling like this, he never had his heart beating so erratically before. Even in front of his crush during middle school, it never happened. Brushing it off, he closed his eyes and slept, Jeno secured in his arms. That's all that matters to him.   
  


"Look at them Soojung. They're getting too attached."

" _Sigh._ First with Jaemin. Now Mark. We shouldn't have let Mark see him."

"It's not like we can do anything now. We'll let Mark be with him until he gives birth. I dont want my monthly money to stop because of him next."

"I agree.


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark spends a day off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to avoid confusion, mark and haechan lives in the dreamies dorm instead of the 127 dorm. i know in real life jeno jisung and renjun stays in the same room, but for plot sakes, renjun and mark are roommates. chenle also stays in the dorms as well. and i know it's currently we go up era but we're following go era here. other than that, enjoy!!

He had to rush out in the morning. He didn't have time to wake Jeno up or write down a note to tell him he left early. He only managed to give a bow to Mr Lee who happened to be in the kitchen sipping onto his coffee. He checked his watch as he tapped his feet impatiently in the lift. It's five in the morning and Mark should be back in the dorms by six. He was already running late and what made things worse was it was peak period, the traffic is a nightmare. He got a taxi immediately when he got to the streets. Even though how many times he prayed to not get stuck in the traffic, he ended up sitting in the taxi for almost an hour and a half. He ran out when the taxi arrived at the dorms, punching down the password to the dorm, barging in like no tomorrow. He kicked his shoes off and stepped in, not shocked to see Renjun sitting at the dining table with his homework scattered all over.

"Hey. Doing good?" Mark said, sitting across the younger.

"I have shitloads of homework to do. Do I seem like I'm doing okay?" Renjun snapped before chugging down coffee in his mug.

"When did you start drinking coffee?"

Renjun rolled his eyes. "We literally stayed in the same dorm and see each other's faces more than half the time in the dorm but you don't know I have started drinking coffee about a year ago when I entered senior year?"

Mark put his hands in front of him in surrender. "Okay I get it. I hang around with the 127 hyungs a lot."

The Chinese sighed and put away his coffee mug. "So how was Jeno doing?"

"He's fine, I guess? But he's extra clingy and stuff. I thought he only clings onto Jaemin." The Canadian whispered.

"That kid is a living koala. He's clingy to almost everyone." Renjun rolled his eyes, tapping his pen on the worksheet he hadn't started on. "But is he doing well?"

Mark huffed. "I think so. Just that he gets lonely and shit. His parents doesnt allow him out of the apartment I think it kinda bores him a lot. Imagine that month I didn't come." He said, folding his arms across his chest.

Renjun chuckled. "You care about him a lot. Are you sure you aren't crushing on him or something?" He winked.

Mark scoffed. "I'm just doing what a leader should do. Take care of members."

"Really?" The Chinese's lips formed into a grin. "Never heard Taeyong hyung cuddling with other members just because they are sick or something. Except for Ten hyung that is. But seriously do you like him? Jaemin isn't going to like that." Renjun teased.

Mark face palmed himself. He felt his face burn. "I swear I'm doing what I'm supposed to do."

" I'm convinced alright."

A door creaked open and walked out a sleepy and groggy Chenle. Mark smirked seeing the sudden spark in Renjun's eyes when the second youngest came out. Chenle waddled his way to the kitchen, rubbing his eyes which a little pout on his lips.

"Lele-yah. Got enough sleep?" Mark asked.

"I'm good, hyung." Chenle replied, his voice raspy.

He slowly made his way to the kitchen to make his breakfast, Mark took that as an opportunity to tease the older Chinese. "Lele caught your eye?"

Red hue appeared on Renjun's pale skin. However he was replied with a roll of the eyes and a kick on the shin under the table. Chenle took his seat beside Renjun and leaned his head on the older's shoulder, closing his eyes for what we call a momentary nap. Mark snickered and pinched a little bit of bread off the younger's sandwich only to have his hand slapped by Renjun.

"Stop disturbing his breakfast goddamit."

The other members started to fill in, Haechan and Jaemin entering the dining room with messy hair and puffy eyes, yawning as they made their breakfast. Jisung came out last. Mark could see how tired the members are, since most of them are schooling. Jisung cringed at the sight of Renjun's homework.

"Ew. It's morning and you're doing homework."

"At least I do stuff unlike you. Your homeworks are piling up. Do something with it."

"I'm not a nerd like you."

And here goes the every morning bickering. They will always bicker in the morning, over trivial things. Ehhh, teenagers. Mark felt his phone buzz and reached for his phone in his pocket.

"I gotta go somewhere." He mumbled before leaving the arguing teens.

He closed the door to his and Renjun's room and swiped his phone to answer the call. He only breathed a casual "Hello" but he was returned by sobbing from the other line. Mark blinked. What?

"Why did you leave?" Jeno's voice cracked.

"I'm sorry I didn't message you earlier or wake you up. I had to leave before people notice that I was gone." Mark defended himself, panicking.

"Are you ashamed? That you are seeing me?"

"N-no! Jeno, what are you talking about?"

Jeno's loud sobs echoed into Mark's ear. "I get it hyung. I'm dirty and ugly. If you don't want to be with me, I'm fine. You don't have to sugarcoat everything."

" Jeno, dont think like that. I'll come tonight and the following nights, okay? I just don't want the others to know. You don't want that either, right?" The Canadian spoke softly.

The boy at the other line sniffed, "Yeah."

"You can text me anytime you want, alright. Call me if you want to. I wouldn't be doing anything for today."

"It's lonely here."

Mark sighed. "I know Jeno. I understand. Like I said, I'm going to be online if I can so you won't feel lonely."

Jeno laughed and Mark swore that laugh can fight cancer and end war. "Okay hyung. I'm sorry just now. I was a little distraught not seeing you beside me in the morning."

A small smile appeared on the older's lips. "It's okay. But I have a question, Jeno."

"What is it?"

"Are you okay? Are you depressed or something? I mean you always cry whenever I come. Is there something bothering you." Mark questioned, speaking with a lower tone in case any of the Dream members passed by his room.

He was only replied with silence.

"Jeno, I don't like you hiding things from me."

"I told you yesterday hyung. I'll tell you one day and don't r-rush me.... If I don't want to tell you now, don't force me.  I d-dont like it hyung." Jeno sounded like he was about to cry again.

"Okay but promise me you'll tell me."

"I will."

"I have to go, call me when you need me."

"Okay."

Mark hung the line and stared at his phone. He hated how Jeno doesn't tell him anything. It felt like as if Jeno doesn't trust him. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. This is getting frustrating. He turned around and opened the door. The bickering had somehow ended while he was talking to Jeno,  everyone by the dining table are calm and serene, eating their breakfast. He put on a smile and took his place. He ruffled Jisung's hair, earning a whine or groan from the other.

"I wonder how Jeno is doing." Haechan spoke up, unintentionally spitting breadcrumbs onto the table.

Mark froze while Renjun grimaced. "I'm sure he's doing fine. And don't talk while you're eating."

"I mean we don't even get to see or contact him. We can't even get any information about his condition. I hope he's fine."

Haechan never sounded so sympathetic before.

"I kind of miss Jeno hyung." Jisung spoke up.  "Like I miss his eye smile, his annoying presence..."

Chenle nodded. "I miss him too. It's weird."

" You're one to talk. I sleep alone now without anyone else in my room." The youngest whined, hugging himself.

"And to be honest, I don't like Jeno's replacement for practice. The vibe he gives out-" Haechan shuddered dramatically. "- is so not Jeno. I hope he's not hurt or something. I wonder how he's doing without us."

Mark felt sad for them. They care- they care _a lot._ If only SM would tell them what is going on. If only Mark could tell them Jeno is in a way doing fine but that's just going to blow his cover. He felt pitiful for Jisung as well, who ended up sleeping in a room alone just because Jeno had to go out hiatus for what ever reason.

"I miss his whining."

Mark looked at Jaemin who suddenly spoke, his lips formed into a smile.

"I remember the times he would whine and tell me to cook him food cause he is tired." Jaemin's smile only grew wider. "I miss him a lot. Why does SM have to send him on a hiatus, huh? It sucks a lot seeing the person you love suddenly push themselves away from you without an explanation."

The dining room grew silent. Renjun interlaced his hands with the other's under the table as a sign of comfort. Jisung only stared at his hyung sadly while Chenle's lips formed into a thin line. Mark knew Jaemin and Jeno were quite close, in fact, quite gay for each other but it's doesn't help with the fire growing in his heart. His liking for Jeno bloomed during My First and Last era when Jaemin went on hiatus due to his herniated disk. Jeno was clingy to both him and Renjun and it lasted until Jaemin came back. It was like he vanished once Jaemin came back to the dorms. Seeing Jeno in secret these days, kind of made his liking for Jeno to just grow.

"He's doing okay I think. There aren't any fans leaking pictures in different parts of Seoul in bad condition so I'm sure he's doing okay. Stop worrying. It's not like that boyfriend of yours is dying or anything." Renjun said, squeezing the other's shoulder.

"Thanks Injoon."

At seven o'clock the Dream members were off too school, leaving Mark alone in the dorms. Jeno hasn't texted him or called yet. He's probably still sleeping. He grabbed his valuables and left the dorm for the practice room. Yeah, he has no schedules and SM does that to let him rest, but instead of wasting his time he'd rather spend his time practicing. He opened the door to their practice room and started stretching immediately. He glanced at his phone on the couch. Nothing. With the NCT 2018 project coming up after Jeno comes back, Mark knew he won't get any rest so he concluded practicing and making sure the moves are right now are better than last minute.

It didn't felt like hours have passed when Mark collapsed on the floor tired. He let the song go on repeat while he sat on the floor with his hands on his head. His legs felt like giving away after dancing to Boss, Go and Touch over and over again. He wanted to do Black on Black but his gut said no, or he'll end up half dead in the middle of the practice room. He took off his cap and shoes and laid on his back, breathing in and out deeply, closing his eyes as well. He checked the time on his watch. 12:30. Lunch time. Getting up, he grabbed his phone and a bottle of water before leaving the practice room.

"What are you doing here? Isn't it your day off?"

Mark turned around and awkwardly laughed. "Bored. What are _you_ doing here as well, Lucas?"

" I was about to practice but Taeyong hyung said not to. I'm too lazy to go back to the dorms, guess I'll hang around here for a while." Lucas explained, shrugging.

"Wanna have lunch?" Mark offered.

The taller shook his head. "No thanks. I'll have lunch later with Jungwoo."

"Translation: date." The Canadian smirked.

"It's _not_ a date!" Lucas shouted, his cheeks becoming pink. "Why does everyone think I'm dating Jungwoo? He's just a friend, a mere member of NCT U."

"Up to you bro. See you tomorrow for practice then."

Mark didn't wait for an answer and slowly took the stairs down even though his legs are practically dying cause _I need to lose weight._ He scrolled down his Instagram when a banner popped up at the top of his phone.

tofrom: **jenojaem ♥**  
_hyung im bored._

Mark chuckled and typed in a reply.

to: **jenojaem** _♥_  
_want me to come over?_  
_im free_

from: **jenojaem** ♥   
_you're willing to come over?_  
_you don't need to come tbh. we can just call._

Mark smiled. He knew Jeno wanted him to come. Jeno sucks at lying.

to: **jenojaem** ♥   
_im good_  
_i'll come in twenty._  
_im going get lunch._  
_have u eaten?_  
_please tell me u have._

from: **jenojaem** ♥   
_im just feeding off the ramen in my house._  
_it's not much of a problem tbh._

to: **jenojaem** ♥   
_nonsense._  
_im getting you food._

Mark knew Jeno was going to protest so he turned his phone off and ran down the stairs. He took a right turn for the restaurant only to bump to Jaemin. He raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" He asked.

"I had an exam today, hyung." Jaemin stated, putting his hands in his uniform pockets. "Who finished the paper first, goes home early."

"Whatever." Mark rolled his eyes and was about to leave when Jaemin grabbed grabbed his arm.

"Where are _you_ going? Seems like you are in a rush. I know you have no schedules today, hyung."

"Off to see my brother." The older lied.

Jaemin blinked. "Who?"

"You don't have to know." Mark said before removing his arm from the younger's hold.

He rushed to the food stall outside the SM building at the first level to purchase something. He spent over five minutes thinking what Jeno would like. He originally thought of buying him rice with bulgoggi but thinking about Jeno's current condition changed his mind and ended up buying something simple. He looked at the time and gulped. Just to take the order took fifteen minutes. So much for arriving in just twenty. Rushing, he told the cashier to keep the change before bolting out from the stall and to the streets to flag for a taxi.

Mark didn't expect someone to throw themselves to him the minute he knocked onto the door.

"You actually came!" Jeno exclaimed, burying his face in Mark's shoulder.

"Of course I did." The older chuckled. "I bought food. Didn't know what you wanted so I just bought you a Korean sandwich if you're okay."

Jeno pulled away. "Of course I'm okay! Come in!"   
  
  


 

 

"Is it always this quiet?" Mark questioned, as he watched the younger chomp his food.

Jeno hummed and took another bite from his _fourth_ sandwich. "My parents are never home until evening."

"So what exactly do you do? Like without anyone to talk to?" Mark asked, worry laced in his Canadian accent.

The Korean sighed and leaned back. "It sucks. I don't do much. I got bored after watching cartoons and movies all day long. Even games no longer excite me. I'd rather dance you know." He said, sinking his teeth into the remains of his sandwich.

Mark placed his down and put his hand on his palm. "Do you want to visit the dance practice room one day? Maybe dance or something?"

Jeno looked sad at the mention of the practice room. "I'm not at the condition to dance. I can't at all right now." He whispered, putting his food down and wrapping his arms around his body. "My body is itching to dance but I can't. It's been like a month going two that I haven't even done a move. It sucks, hyung. It really does."

There were tears in Jeno's eyes. Mark shifted from his seat across Jeno and to the chair beside him and placed an arm over the younger's shoulder.

"Once it's over you can start dancing alright." Mark assured, wiping the tears at the corner of Jeno's eyes.

"I don't think I can, hyung." The Korean said, leaning close to press his head gently on Mark's neck. "It will take me a while."

"It doesn't matter now, Jeno-yah. Focus on yourself now then you can dance later, alright." Mark said.

He looked into Jeno's glassy eyes and felt his heart break at the sight of fear, worry and pure sadness in those dark pupils. If only he could make him happy again. He couldn't see any brightness in them, not even the slightest joy. He caressed Jeno's face, sighing. _If only you told me, I can help you._ A bright red appeared at the younger's cheekbones. Mark blinked and blushed furiously as well at how close they were and slowly got back to their original positions. The atmosphere was awkward as Jeno continued finishing his sandwich and Mark staring into deep space. His phone vibrated in his pocket.

from: **injoon (the real dream mom)**  
_hey where u at?_  
_the kids are asking where u went._

to: **injoon (the real dream mom)**  
_at jeno's._  
_i told jae i went to see my bro._  
_he bought it._

from: **injoon (the real dream mom)**  
_explain why you're at jeno's_

to: **injoon (the real dream mom)**  
_he's lonely_  
_and i have the time sooo_

from: **injoon (the real dream mom)**  
_mark_  
_you're fucking whipped._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay sorry that turned out to be shit. ik i promised an update for last week but then i got busy and shit cause being in sec 3 is a complete ass. so um, thanks for staying and actually wait. do comment below!! i love your comments a lot. also, i'll try to update by next month if time likes me. ha ha ha. 
> 
> anyways i love you all so so much!!!


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark unintentionally creates a problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vulgarities ahead- a lot of vulgarities ahead. just a warning. heh.

  
Mark watched Jeno flop himself onto the couch, sinking into the soft cushions causing the younger to look small. He smiled to himself. No wonder Jaemin likes him. He's so soft and is the epitome of adorable. Especially with that oversized sweatshirt he was wearing. He settled beside the latter who was struggling to reach for the remote control on the coffee table. Chuckling, he grabbed the remote with ease before tossing it to the younger. Jeno grinned and turned the TV on. Mark could see boredom in Jeno's eyes as he flipped through the same twenty channels over and over. After three solid minutes Mark took the remote from Jeno.

"Stop. You know there is nothing on." He said.

Jeno sighed and posted, putting his hoodie over his head. "This what I do on a daily basis, hyung."

"Well then we should try something else then. You can't just spend your entire hiatus at home doing nothing."

"But there is nothing to doooo." Jeno whined.

"Do you not ever thought of leaving the apartment for once?" Mark raised an eyebrow. "No offence but if I were you I would have rot inside."

"Fine." Jeno huffed, puffing his cheeks. "But what is there to do? I can't leave. Our fans may see me. And it wasn't even official I'm going on hiatus."

Mark sighed. "I'm pretty sure you have some things other than just the couch to lounge on." He looked around. "How's your fridge? Is it full?"

"Maybe." The latter shrugged, hugging a cushion close to his chest. "Why? Are you hungry? We just ate."

"No nothing. I'm the opposite of hungry." Mark said. "Still a fan of smoothies?"

Mark's heart skipped a beat when Jeno jumped from the other end of the couch and propped himself on his knees, eyes shining with excitement and joy.

"Yes! Hyung make me someee~" The younger whined, shifting his hands to create sweater paws. "Pwease."

The Canadian shook his head with a smile on his lips. So this was the aegyo attack Jaemin talked about. He reached for one of Jeno's sweater paws and tugged it, unintentionally bringing the latter closer to him.

"No way I'm making it myself. You're making with me. I'm not spoiling you the way Jaemin spoils you." Mark teased, a grin forming on his lips.

The glint of cheerfulness vanished from the latter's dark orbs. Jeno bit his lip and sighed.

"Okay."

The two walked their way to the kitchen (Mark practically dragging Jeno there) and salvaged as much fruits they can to make the smoothies Jeno was excited about. Mark looked over his shoulder to see Jeno staring at the liquid in the blender. He noticed the younger hadn't talked much after that small threat. Jeno had his head on his hands as he watched the blender do its work. He sniffed and wiped the corner of his eyes with his sleeve. Mark stopped cutting the strawberries and turned around, knife still in hand.

"You okay?" He asked, even though he knew he wasn't.

"I'm good, hyung. I'm just tired."

Mark confirmed that Jeno was terrible at lying. Not wanting to push the younger any further for answers, he continued doing what he stopped. He chopped the strawberry into dices, same goes for the others. His mind ran wild trying to figure out the reason behind Jeno's sudden tears. Did he say something wrong? Was his tone a little too intimidating? What did he say that made him feel bad? He jumped back and hissed when the metal sunk into his finger, holding onto his bloodied index finger.

"Fuck." He cursed as blood dripped onto the kitchen floor.

Jeno leaped off his chair and rushed to the cabinet to get the First Aid kit before pulling Mark's hand in a panicked manner, running the injured finger under the tap for a while. The Canadian groaned when the water came in contact with his finger but as if he was a fragile baby, Jeno hushed and patted his hand gently. Jeno grabbed the plaster nearby and wrapped it around the older's finger, putting his entire attention to it. Mark stared at the younger. He looked at how Jeno pouted while he focused on something.

_Those lips. Fuck they are kissable._

Jeno let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and smiled. "Done." He cheered. "Be careful hyung! That was a really deep cut." He scolded, putting his hands on his hips.

Mark didn't respond. He reached out for the latter's cheek with his good hand and admired the every bit of Jeno. The onyx black eyes. The glowing skin. The beautiful little moles on his cheek. The lips. Every part of Jeno was just mesmerising. Too mesmerising to notice the red hue on the younger's cheek. He leaned close, his eyes fixated to those rosy pink lips Jeno has. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips onto Jeno's, soft and sweet. Jeno stayed frozen at his spot before closing his eyes and tilting his head, kissing him back. It was so gentle and sweet until realisation hits Mark hard. Pulling away a little too suddenly, his eyes widened at Jeno's condition.

"Shit. What have I done?" He whispered.

Jeno's eyes were glassy, looking into his eyes, the glint of desperation and hurt in those pupils. Mark's eyes fell onto the younger's lips, a little bit swollen from the kissing.

"Shit I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." Mark mumbled.

Before Jeno could grab his arm, he left the apartment, unintentionally banging the door.   
  


 

 

Renjun dropped his bag onto his bed before flopping onto it unceremoniously, groaning. His head was pounding thanks to the amount of physics nonsense he had to deal with during extra classes. And the crowd in the train wasn't helping at all, in fact making his headache worse. He placed an arm over his eyes and sighed. A five minute nap would do the trick. It always does. Before he could let himself being brought to a nap, a body fell on his.

"Ow! What the hell?" He shouted, looking down at the body on him.

"Injun-ah~ I want to kill myself."

"Hyung. What have you done? And why are you drinking in the Dreamies dorm?" Renjun raised an eyebrow looking at the can of beer in the older's hand.

"Do you want to know what I have done?" Mark slurred, giggling as he placed his chin on Renjun's chest. "It's so stupid you will kick me for it."

The Chinese sighed. So much for rest. "What was it?"

Mark sat up and  chugged the remains of beer, throwing it to the floor. "I kissed Jeno."

Renjun choked. "What?! You did what?!"

"I kissed Jenooo~" The Canadian sing-songed. "I didnt mean it but it was dumb right? I don't know what came over me. His lips were just so.... mesmerising."

Renjun was rather surprised at the vocabulary even though Mark was drunk his ass off. "So you kissed him.... Why are you drinking?"

Mark let out a giddy laugh. "Cause Jeno is taken silly. Jaemin will be mad at me. Like imagine him finding out I kissed him."  He pondered. "I'll be dead meat, Injun."

He's dead meat alright. Renjun swore under his breath and forced the older to sleep after thirty minutes of trying to shut the other up. Tired himself, he grabbed a bottle of aspirin from the kitchen and placed it on Mark's bedside table before changing out of his uniform for his short nap. It was a good twenty minutes before he woke up to the sound of throwing up, making him let out a groan of frustration. He threw the blankets over him and forced his eyes shut so he wouldn't hear anything other than his humming.   
  


 

 

Mark woke up to a head-splitting headache, banging the wall beside him was the first thing he did. He sat up, cringing at the smell of vomit, facepalming himself when he realised the dirty liquid on the floor once belonged in his stomach. Throwing the covers off him he stumbled to the toilet and grabbed a mop to clean the mess he created. He wondered why exactly did he thought drinking two cans of beers was the correct thing to do. He popped two pills into his mouth and gulped them down, not bothering to care about the uncomfortable feeling of the pills going down his throat without the help of water.

"So. You kissed Jeno."

He looked up a little too fast, wincing at the migraine that hit him hard. Renjun was sitting at the study table, back faced to him as he did his homework.

"H-How did you know?" Mark stammered.

"You told me. You were drunk as hell." Renjun responded not even bothering to turn around.

"I didnt mean to-"

"I know. You told me."

Mark held onto the mop with both hands. "Ugh what else did I tell you?"

This time Renjun took the effort to turn around. He placed his elbows on his knees and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you told me that you didn't know what made you do it, you told me Jeno's lips were too much for you, you also told me that Jaemin will be mad and you'll be dead meat if he found out.... yeah. That's all I can remember." The Chinese said.

"I fucked up." Mark whined, blush growing on his cheeks.

"Of course you did. Like really fucked up." Renjun added.

"You're not helping, Renjun." Mark said as he started to mop the floor clean.

The younger sighed. "Tell me hyung. Do you like him?"

Mark blushed more furiously. "I don't-"

"You fucking kissed him. Of course you do." Renjun spat, clearly annoyed having to deal with such drama at such timing.

Mark was about to say something but the other beat him to it.

"You visit him cause 'he's alone~' and you want to accompany him. You are the one who worried a lot about him and didn't give up when the managers didn't give you any information about Jeno. You literally blanked out most of the time during practice just because 'i wonder if Jeno is okay' even though you know he is.  And who the fuck wakes up and entertains someone at 1AM for a smoothie? You."

"So?"

Renjun rolled his eyes dramatically. "That means you like him idiot."

"I don't like him." Mark emphasised each word.

"Really? Seemed like your cheeks said otherwise." The Chinese stated before turning around to finish his homework.

Mark kept quiet and continued mopping.

_Maybe. I do like him._   
  


 

 

It took Mark all the guts to call Jeno that night. He felt guilty for leaving Jeno just like that without sparing him a chance to respond. He rang once, twice- but Jeno didn't pick up. Pursing his lips he dialed the number again, hoping the line would be picked up. After being sent to voicemail for the fifth time, he realised he should apologise face to face. Looking at his watch, the Dreamies would be sleeping in about twenty minutes since Renjun had set a strict rule to sleep by 10 which everyone but Mark and Haechan abides. He clutched his phone and checked if he got any messages from the other.

But there was nothing.

Chenle's dolphin screaming from the living room and Renjun's loud scoldings snapped him out of his thoughts. He doesn't know how long has he been sitting in his room doing particularly nothing and just staring at the phone. Sighing he got up from his bed and left the room, not surprised to see the mess infront of him. Chenle was on the floor with Renjun pining his arms at the back while Jisung cackled in Haechan's hold. Mark shook his head and cleared his throat.

"What is going on?" He asked.

Chenle opened his mouth to say something but closed them back when Mark raised a hand.

"I don't want to know. Aren't you supposed to be checking your timetable? Getting ready for sleep?" He asked.

Renjun groaned. "I was telling them to sleep since just now but these kids doesn't stop fighting!" He complained.

"Before Renjun loses himself, just go to bed. You don't want to see his ugly side." Mark said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

At the mention of Renjun's bad side, the two maknaes scrambled their way to their rooms to prepare themselves to sleep. The older Chinese sighed and ran a hair through his hair. Haechan waved a goodnight to both of them as he made his way to the common bathroom to take a short (that is 30 minutes long) warm shower before sleeping. Jaemin who was still glued to the couch with his eyes on the phone, refused to move. It was ten minutes before 10 and it doesn't look like Jaemin was willing to move an inch.

"Yah Nana. Aren't you going to sleep?" Mark called.

"It's Jeno." Jaemin murmured.

Both Mark and Renjun froze. What?!

"He's apologising over and over again. I don't know hyung. I'm getting worried." Jaemin admitted, showing a spam amount of messages flooding his chat. "I don't even know why he decided to message me now after so many months."

Renjun moved forward and took the phone in his hands. He visibly paled and showed Mark who was taking his sweet time to recover from the sudden news. The Canadian's eyebrows furrowed as he read the text. By the looks of it, Jeno must have regretted kissing Mark back just now.

from: ♥️ **acorn** ♥️  
_im so sorry_  
_i really am_  
_i don't expect you to forgive me_  
_but im really really sorry_  
_you're going to hate me ik_  
_im sorry nana_  
_i hate myself_  
_im really sorry for this_  
_you can choose not to forgive me_  
_im not worth forgiving_  
_im sorry_  
_really sorry_  
_sorry nana_  
_im sorry_

Mark looked at Jaemin whose face has worry evident on his handsome features. He looked really concerned and it's not like Mark has the right to get mad. Jaemin and Jeno are boyfriends after all. Renjun gulped and faced the youngest.

"I think it's best if we don't tell this to anyone." The Chinese advised, giving the phone back to Jaemin.

"Why not? I mean what if he is planning to kill himself? I mean look at the texts!" The other insisted.

"It's better if we don't. And we know well Jeno isn't suicidal so we are good. Until he messages again, tell us. Maybe we can handle things on our own." Mark said. "Keep this away from the other members, even the maknaes. Only three of us know okay."

The clock striked ten and Renjun placed a hand on Jaemin's shoulder and gave him a small squeeze.

"It's time to sleep. Get some rest and don't think about it." He said.

Jaemin formed his lips into a straight line and got up from his seat. Sighing he entered his room without a word. Mark bounced on his feet and started biting his nails.

"Obviously the kiss is driving both of you crazy." Renjun snorted.

"I need a drink." Mark mumbled.

"Drinking doesn't let you escape from reality. And you are an ass to deal with when you are drunk."

"Point taken."

They stood in the living room like that for about a minute before Mark breaks the silence. "I'm going to Jeno's. I'm going to talk to him."

He was at the door when he heard Renjun's voice in a tone he never thought he would hear. "Don't be so rough on him."

"I wont."  
  


 

 

The lights were off when Mark entered the apartment using the spare key. There wasn't any shoes beside the door, which indicates that both his parents aren't home. He turned on the lights and entered the kitchen to see it cleaned up. He pursed his lips and walked deeper into the house. He was sure he looked like a robber at this point of time. He pushed the door to Jeno's room and eyed the sleeping figure in the middle of the queen size bed. So small, so fragile. Mark took slow steps to the latter and was about to shake him awake when something caught his eye.

A phone in Jeno's hand.

Trying to make no sound, he went to the other side and took the phone off Jeno's hand. Mark squinted when he turned it on, the brightness of the screen burned his eyes for a split second. He unlocked the phone with ease after punching down the password (don't ask, it's Jeno's birthday) and his curiosity rose at the first thing that came out on the screen.

 

 ** _Entry 48_**  
**_13:45PM_**

_i dont know what made mark hyung kiss me just now. what i know is that it is driving me insane. i hate to admit i enjoyed the kiss but what if nana founds out? he'll hate me. he doesn't even know the story behind why i was like this in the first place. stuck behind these four walls for god knows how long. i am torn. i don't know if i felt anything for mark hyung. i mean i love nana but for some reason being with mark hyung made me happier. im questioning myself. do i like mark hyung? or is it just the hormones playing a trick on me. i feel like dying. once these cruel nine months are over, i want to get over this bullshit._

 

Mark scrolled down to the next entry.

 

 ** _Entry 49_**  
**_21:39PM_**

_i have never felt so stupid in my entire life. why did i spam nana? i should have just keep quiet. having mark hyung know my current condition is enough. i dont want nana to suddenly burst into my apartment like no one's business. i just felt sorry for nana now. i just don't seem to love him as much as i used to. i want to apologise to him and tell him what's going on but i just can't. i hate myself for saying this but i think i kinda like mark hyung. he actually entertained my cravings and nonsensical whining like- is nana ever going to do that?_

 

With too many scenarios running through his mind, he went to the next entry which seemed to be the last. It looked like Jeno wrote it down before he fell asleep.

 

 ** _Entry 50_**  
**_22:24PM_**

_looks like mark hyung won't be coming today. i get it. im disgusting and dirty. when he finds out he is definitely not going to see me again. he's not going to even stay in the same room as me. fuck this nonsense. fuck na jaemin. fuck that stupid party when he came back. fuck the baby. im done with life. mom and dad aren't coming home today so ha ha im alone again. i think loneliness loves me._

 

Baby? What baby? What made Jeno so insecure about himself? Mark was brought back to reality when Jeno whimpered and started crying in his sleep. Words like "Mark-hyung" "Don't" "Jaemin" and "Stay" left the latter's lips. Jeno's cries went louder and Mark peeled his feet off the ground and slipped into the covers, wrapping his arms around Jeno's small frame. At the contact his tears stopped flowing, Mark stopped moving as the younger brought himself closer and burying his face into the older's shoulder without his own knowledge. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the headboard, stroking Jeno's head until he fell asleep.   
  


 

 

_Thud_

"Fuck ow."

Mark placed a hand on the back of his head, wincing at the sharp pain. Opening his eyes he wondered why was he on the floor.

"Shit sorry."

He sat up slowly not removing his hand and squinted at the figure propped on the bed he knew he was once sleeping on.

"I didnt mean to push you off the bed." Jeno apologised.

"Nah it's okay." _Fucking hell it hurts._

"Why did you come back?"

"I thought I should?" _Dumb answer Mark._

"Oh."

Mark sighed and got to his feet before sitting at the edge of the bed. Jeno scooted away to the other end.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have done that." He said, taking the effort to look into Jeno's eyes.

"I.... dont seem bothered by it." Jeno replied.

"What about Jaemin? You two are dating. Sorry I got on the way."

"I don't know about that."

The silence was thick around them. Jeno looked scared and vulnerable in the oversized sweatshirt, his black hair almost covering his eyes. Mark got up and fixed his shirt to leave since his main purpose of coming here was done. He saluted Jeno goodbye and twisted the doorknob. As if it was his lifeline, Jeno jumped off the bed and ran to the other side of the room, throwing his arms around Mark's upper body from behind. The older felt a part of his shirt become wet and didn't move when four words were muffled against his shirt.

"I like you, hyung."

_Jaemin don't hate me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuyoh! i wrote this in a day and THAT'S a record. anyways, ik this is an update too early than the usual since i updated recently as well. this is to cover up my absence later in the following months since finals are going to take my soul away. ha ha ha im going to die this finals. so um comment below about whatcha think! i love yall so so much!!


	5. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One visit to Jeno's apartment gone wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is quite rushed, cause i am very excited so yeah, expect errors. hahahahah.

They acted like that whatever happened that day never existed. Mark still visited Jeno in a regular _(regular, huh?)_ basis whenever he has the time and Jeno found himself enjoying the older's presence. Mark pulled him out from the hole of boredom, doing activities at the small apartment to keep Jeno occupied. The smoothies was an everyday thing, Mark would visit the supermarket before coming over. It weirded him out how Jeno didn't get sick of the smoothies they make everyday. He can take any fruits in, except for pineapple which he fearfully shook his head once Mark suggested it.

It was a nice way to release the stress building up in him by just hanging out with Jeno in his apartment but as said by Renjun, his absence was getting a little too obvious. The moment he comes back to the dorms, Renjun would scold him for spending too much time at Jeno's apartment as the other Dreamies kept on asking where he was. Jaemin was one of the constant questioners. The Chinese had warned Mark if he didn't keep it subtle and keeps on extending his visiting hours, the Dreamies will eventually find out. The Dreamies wouldn't be such a huge problem, but the managers will. Mark couldn't help it, being with Jeno calms him down.

In fact, the two had gotten so much closer than they thought they would. They began with small talks to cuddles on the couches. Mark liked how clingy Jeno can be at times, especially after being stuck in the bathroom throwing up continuously. He would stare down at the male who was sleeping on him, face showing serenity and peace. He had the time to admire Jeno's face, from the eyes to the lips. He loved Jeno with all his heart and would do anything to please him. Jeno's confession made him more confident to initiate any kisses but he told himself that Jeno doesn't _love_ him but only _likes_ him.

"You don't have to stare."

Mark blinked. "S-Sorry."

A smile crept on the younger's face. "It's okay. I know I'm irresistible." He said teasingly.

"Of course you are." The Canadian rolled his eyes, nevertheless putting on an amused smile.

Jeno was quiet again and this time Mark made sure he was asleep. He closed his eyes as well, he was tired from practice hours before coming over and his body was screaming for rest. The couch engulfed him into an embrace and Mark was about to sleep away the ache until his phone rang. Groaning, he reached out for his phone sitting on the living room table.

"What do you want, Renjun?" He asked in an annoyed tone.

"Where are you? The kids won't stop asking." Renjun's demanding tone yelled into his ears.

"Just tell them I'm busy... or I'm with the 127 hyungs or something." Mark sighed.

"They aren't going to buy it. And guess what, Chenle asked manager-nim where your whereabouts are. If you're going to spend your time at Jeno's apartment all day, you're going to get caught. I'm serious hyung. It's too obvious." The Chinese threatened. "You're lucky manager-nim only said you went out somewhere. If Chenle or Jisung bugs him again, he'll get suspicious of you leaving too often. Come on, hyung ."

"Okay okay I get it. I'll cut down my visiting hours. Happy?"

"That's some progress. Why are you still seeing him, though. Does he really need your help? Isn't his parents there to watch him?"

Mark's lips formed into a straight line. "He's parents rarely come home, saying they have overseas trips- how many times do I have to tell you this?"

"You told me that like a month ago. How long can an overseas trip be?"

"Don't ask."

A frustrated sigh could be heard from the other line. "Whatever. Have he told you yet?"

Mark frowned. "Tell me what?"

"Why he's on hiatus."

He looked down at Jeno and sighed, using his free hand to card his fingers between Jeno's soft locks. "No."

"How long will you wait? It's been a month and a half since you started visiting him and he hasn't told you anything." Renjun sounded like he was angry. "Don't you feel like he's using you or something? For cuddles and shit? Think twice hyung. It won't be for long until manager-nim will find out. And I'm going to get my ass dragged into this for knowing all this and not telling them."

The Canadian stopped playing with Jeno's hair. "But he doesn't want to tell me anything yet. Who knows if I wait he wil-"

"There's no time. Be firm, hyung. I know you are better than that."

Renjun didn't wait for any reply and cut the line, leaving Mark frozen with the phone against his ears. Slowly he put the phone down and sighed. He was right. It's been a while since he started this visiting routine and Jeno still haven't told him a thing. He looked at the clock nearby. Maybe once Jeno wakes up he can ask him. He pressed a soft kiss on Jeno's head and shut his eyes. He might need more energy when he questioned Jeno for answers later. His body system shut down the moment he was brought to dreamland, failed to realise that something had slipped away from his arms.

Sometimes he forgot how much of a light sleeper Jeno can be.  
  


 

 

The sky was painted orange with a hint of pink and yellow the time Mark woke up. He rubbed his eyes groggily and sat up, eyebrows knitted together when he realised Jeno wasn't in his arms. He scanned the living room and there was no sign of Jeno anywhere. His phone dinged multiple times, screen lighting up at every message being sent. A loud clank and a shrill cry brought Mark to his senses. He propped onto his knees, eyes wide. The cry was then followed with sobs- awfully familiar sobs. He grabbed a vase nearby so he could smash it onto the burglar's face once he's in sight.

He tip toed his way to the source of sound. He started to feel worried when the cries came from inside Jeno's master bedroom. Tightening his grip, he pushed the door that was already ajar and peeked his head in. He turned the lights on and scrunched his face in confusion. Jeno was nowhere but the sobs were loud enough. Putting down the vase, he walked into the room and eyed the light shining from under the closed bathroom door. With slow steps he came closer. The closer he got, the louder the cries became. He gently knocked onto the door.

"Jeno? You okay?"

He was probably having one of his throwing up sessions- but hasn't it stopped for a week already? Mark pressed his ear against the door.

"Hey, you okay in there? Do you want me to come in?" Mark repeated, this time reaching out for the doorknob.

Given no response other than cries, Mark twisted the doorknob and furrowed his eyebrows when it hit him the door was locked. He rattled it harder and banged his hand on the door.

"Jeno! Are you okay in there?! Unlock the door!" He shouted, trying to open it repeatedly.

Mark's thoughts of having a burglar in the apartment- in the same room as Jeno ran his blood cold. He shook the doorknob in attempts to get in, only to fail again. Groaning he ran to the kitchen where Jeno's parents had hung the keys, grabbing each of them since he had no clue. He ran back, this time with the vase in his hands again. With shaking hands Mark tried them one by one, cursing under his breath whenever the key didn't pass through. Jeno's cries became louder and that made him progress faster.

"FINALLY." Mark said, unlocking the door with the last key in hand with a flash.

He got to his feet and opened the door, ready to smash the lights out of the burglar but there was no one other than the little  figure sitting in the tub. He placed the vase beside the door and snatched the curtains open.

"Shit, Jeno! What did you do?!"

The shower was running, soaking Jeno wet. The water that trickled away to the drain was pink in color and when he saw that, Mark immediately snapped.

"Jeno why must you hurt yourself?!" He shouted in disbelief.

The younger only continued sobbing, hands covering his face. Mark bend down and gasped at the huge gash that had cut through Jeno's denim jeans to his skin. A knife was situated right beside him, it's shiny material mocking Mark that he was too late. The wound on his right thigh bled continuously. It was big, big enough to suffer an infection if not treated. Mark turned the showerhead off and carried Jeno out of the tub who screamed, yanking the pants off him.

"Oh my god..." He murmured, seeing the angry wound on Jeno's white skin. "We need to wash it off."

Jeno didn't stop crying, only clung onto the older, making the other's clothes wet. He winced in pain when Mark ran his thigh under the tap, gripping onto Mark's shirt tight. Mark was panicking, even when the bleeding reduced by _a bit._ He gently placed Jeno at the edge of the tub and rolled out layers of tissue roll.

"Hold this." He instructed, pressing the thick pile of tissue on the cut. "Press it down hard."

Jeno only nodded and placed his hand on it, blood seeping into the tissue. Mark rushed out to the kitchen, fumbling with the cupboards trying to find the first aid kit Jeno used the time he accidentally cut himself.

"Where the fuck is it?" He murmured, swinging open the door under the sink.

The red box sat under the sink and Mark grabbed it immediately before running back to the bathroom. His fingers swiftly opened the box and took the band aid into his hand. Kneeling before Jeno, he gently placed the younger's leg on his shoulder as he got the band aid ready. He pried the other's hands off the blood soaked tissue and quickly wrapped the band aid around Jeno's thigh tightly . Jeno was quiet, arms around his lower body as he stared at the bathroom floor.

"There." Mark said, retracting his slightly blood stained hands.

He looked up to see a guilty look on Jeno's tear stained face. Sighing, he aided the latter to his bedroom, making him sit at the edge of his bed.

"You're soaked." He commented, turning his heel to find fresh dry clothes for Jeno.

His right thigh was searing with pain and Jeno stayed there immobile, looking at anywhere but Mark. He winced when Mark pulled him up to stand, hands instantly grabbing the older's biceps as he struggled to stand on one leg.

"I c-can't move my leg." Jeno sheepishly informed.

Mark had officially broke the record for sighing the fifth time in an hour. He gently peeled off the soaked boxers off Jeno, letting it pool around his feet. With Jeno still hugging him, he managed to put on new boxer on him. His shirt was now sticking on him, thanks to the soaked sweatshirt Jeno has on. He made him sit down while he took off the wet sweatshirt. He failed to notice how scared Jeno was, putting his arms around his lower body, only removing them when a hoodie was being put on.

"I'm sorry." He croaked, moving back into the bed. "You shouldn't have seen that."

Mark sighed and put his hands into his pockets. "Why did you do that, Jen? You know it hurts but why must you still do it?"

"It's nothing..."

Those two words made Mark lose it. "It's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing. What else are you not going to tell me, huh?" Jeno visibly flinched at Mark's raised voice. "Why is it so hard to answer my question? Always telling me it's nothing. Your hiatus- now this!"

A tear rolled down Mark's cheeks. "It's frustrating, Jeno. I'm here trying to help you go through whatever you're hiding from me but it's just so hard for you to tell me what's going on. Do you not trust me? I have been your leader and your friend since we joined SM but you still don't trust me?"

Jeno moved back until he was leaning on the headboard. "It's not like I don't trust you, hyung. I'm just- scared."

"I don't eat people up, why are you so scared?"

The Korean pointed to the bathroom and closed his eyes. "My phone is in there. On the sink."

"I don't need your phone. I need answers!"  Mark said desperately.

"The answers are in my phone!" Jeno shouted, voice breaking.

Not wanting him to have another breakdown, Mark walked to the bathroom and took the phone in his hands. He left the lock screen and his eyebrows furrowed at the screen he was met with. He sat at the edge of the tub and scrolled down the conversation Jeno was last on.

 **to/from: na na jaemin**  
_nana..._  
_u there?_

 **to/from: na na jaemin**  
_omg ure alive_  
_i was so worried_  
_how are you baby?_  
_i miss you_  
_you didn't let me tell you how much i missed you the last time you were online_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_i need to tell you something_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_about?_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_my hiatus_  
_the reason behind my hiatus_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_why now baby?_  
_it's okay come tell me what's wrong_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_remember that night?_  
_where you came back after a year_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_yes, i do_  
_i remember that night vividly_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_and the fact that im a hermaphrodite?_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_yes i remember_  
_baby what's wrong?_  
_are you okay?_  
_did people bully you?_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_please don't be mad at me_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_why would i_  
_come tell me_  
_i won't get mad_  
_i promise_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_im pregnant_  
_and you're the father_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_jeno you're funny XD_  
_wait_  
_you're serious?_

 **to/: na na jaemin**  
_i dont joke about these kind of things nana_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_you can't get pregnant_  
_are you okay?_  
_are you high or something?_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_i dont do drugs_  
_and im serious_  
_i didnt know my female reproductive system was active_  
_so yes_  
_im pregnant_  
_with your child_  
_nana?_  
_u there?_  
_you're not mad, right?_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_abort the child_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_jaemin what_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_i said_  
_abort the fucking baby_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_jaemin it's our child_  
_dont you want it?_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_we are fucking idols jeno_  
_get that in your head_  
_dating can already ruin an idols life_  
_being gay is already another level_  
_getting pregnant is a whole different story!_  
_get your facts right jeno_  
_abort the baby_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_i know we are idols but_  
_i took a hiatus for a reason_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_i_  
_don't_  
_care_  
_abort the fucking baby_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_that's cruel jaemin_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_i dont fucking care_  
_abort the baby_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_im breaking up_  
_we're over_  
_ive grown to like this child_  
_but you, the father wants him dead_  
_i don't want him to have a father like you_

 **from: na na jaemin**  
_huh_  
_good then_  
_whatever happens to you won't matter to me_  
_good luck_  
_i have renjun anyways_

 **to: na na jaemin**  
_i'll live_

Mark ran a hand through his hair. Everything was slowly piecing up. The constant throwing up, the cravings for smoothies at ungodly hours, clinginess and mood swings.... they are all symptoms to Jeno's pregnancy. He walked out of the bathroom and looked at the small scared figure.

"I disgust you, don't I?" Jeno spoke up. He sniffled and wiped his tears with his sleeve. "Yeah, I did."

Mark walked his way to Jeno's bed and sat, putting the phone on the nightstand. He didn't know what to feel to be honest. He wasn't disgusted- no way! He wasn't happy either, it was Jaemin's child in the end, not his. Soft sniffles brought him back to his senses. His heart broke when Jeno sobbed into his hands and delicately brought the latter into his arms, pressing the younger's head into the crook of his neck.

"I'm not disgusted, Jeno. I never will be." He spoke with a soft voice. "You're so special to me I couldn't bring myself to be disgusted about your condition." He pulled away and pressed a kiss on Jeno's head. "Yeah, it hurts when you started to date Jaemin. But whatever it is, it's you that matter now. I'll take care of you from now on, Jeno. Not because I'm your leader but because I love you Jeno. I'll do everything for you."

Jeno nodded and looked up to get a clear view of Mark. The older had a sad smile on his lips, Jeno just had to mirror it. Blush decorated Jeno's cheeks.

"Thank you."

Before Mark knew it, his lips were pressed against another pair of warm ones. He blinked in confusion. Didn't Jeno just _like_ him?

"I love you too, hyung." Jeno whispered against his lips.

This time it was Mark who kissed back, putting his hands on Jeno's small waist and bringing him closer. He could taste the tears just from the other's lips. It felt like heaven kissing Jeno, all of the problems at the back of his head. He rubbed his thumb onto the latter's abdomen, pulling away at the feeling of the growing bump.

"How long has it been?" He asked softly, gazing into Jeno's eyes.

"Four months." Jeno replied, touching their foreheads together before giggling at Mark's shocked expression. "I know, I'm barely showing."

They kissed again, this time with Mark gently putting Jeno's small frame gently on his lap. Jeno tilted his head as he wrapped his arms around Mark's neck, diving deeper into the kiss. He tangled his hand into the older's black hair, tugging it to deepen the kiss. The feeling of Jeno's lips moving against his made him crazy, Mark didn't resist kissing back hard. He licked Jeno's bottom lip and sighed, pulling apart. Heat rushed to his cheeks. Jeno looked so beautiful. Those lips of his, red, glossed with saliva. At this point, everything of Jeno was beyond beautiful. He remove his hands from his waist and unconsciously put them on Jeno's thigh.

"Ouch! Don't touch!" Jeno shrieked, pushing away Mark's hands.

"Sorry, baby." Mark looked at the band aid on Jeno's thigh. "Baby, why did you cut yourself?"

"Frustrated, angry, sad... I don't know." Jeno sighed, placing his head on Mark's shoulder. "I'm glad you woke up."

"Me too."

Looking at the time, Mark freaked out. He had passed the time he was supposed to be back in the dorms. He set Jeno back onto the bed and pressed a rushed kiss on Jeno's forehead. 

"I'm sorry, I have to go. I'm late." He blabbered.

Jeno smiled and raised his hoodie up, just enough to show the little bump. "Do you want to touch it? At least, before you go."

Mark glanced at the watch on his wrist. It won't take hours to do that. He hovered his hand over Jeno's baby bump, hesitating. Slowly he brought it down, gasping. It was hard, not like what he expected it to be. It wasn't soft or squishy- it was hard and firm. Tears welled up in his eyes. He wondered how Jeno lived through all the drama just for this little bean growing in him. He lowered his head and kissed right above the belly button lovingly. It might not be his child, but he could at least take of it like it was his.

"H-Hyung... You didn't have to do that." Jeno stammered, flustered.

"I wanted to." Mark said with a smile. "Bye, baby. See you tomorrow."

After getting a wave as an answer, Mark rushed out and grabbed his belongings before bolting out the door. He ran to the street and took his phone out to book a taxi but frowned at the most recent message being sent to him on his lockscreen.

 **from: injoon the real dream mom**  
_mark, taeyong wants to talk to you about your consistent disappearance. and you missed a meeting. good job._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the plot line was being brought forward cause i am too excited for this drama. anyways exams are over soon!! it's really shitty tho hahahah. do comment below!! they make my day ^^


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark faces problems

Mark rushed out from the taxi in a flash, mumbling a low thank you before bolting out. His heart was beating out of his chest, and it felt like it was close to breaking his ribs apart the closer he gets to the dorms. He passed the U and 127 dorms and took in a deep breath before entering the Dreamies dorm. It was noisy in there when he stepped in. He cringed at the piercing scream Chenle released when Jisung pinned him down on the ground. Haechan was laughing hysterically, tears running down his face. Instead of being the hyung he should be, he encouraged Jisung to continue which Mark couldn't help but get annoyed at. It was all loud in the living room, except for Jaemin who was seated at the armchair, a frown decorating his face. 

There was no need for explanation, especially when Mark himself read straight from the conversation Jeno and Jaemin had. Unlike Jeno who had shown the look of guilt and fear, Jaemin showed the expression of anger and agitation. The way his hand occasionally twitches, Mark knew that the news of Jeno's pregnancy had ticked him off hard. Jaemin paid no one any attention as he just stared into blank space. Mark wanted to tell him everything, maybe it would help change Jaemin's mind. But after thinking twice, he only realised it would make things worse. Sighing, he walked to his room. 

"Took you forever to come home." Renjun said the moment the door opened. 

Mark paled at the sight of Taeyong sitting at the edge of Renjun's bed, elbows on his thighs, tired eyes boring into his. Renjun was on his bed with a book in hand, not showing any interest of Mark's presence. 

"H-Hi hyung." He greeted his voice barely above a whisper. 

"Sit down." Taeyong said with a stern voice. 

Renjun glanced at him before continuing his reading, shaking his head. Mark cautiously sat at his bed, facing Taeyong. 

"What were you doing that you are so late?" The leader of NCT asked, raising an eyebrow. "When I gave you the green light to meet Jeno during your free time, doesn't mean you can spend the entire day there."

"Okay hyung. It's complicated. Jeno is so lonely. His parents are never at home whenever I come. It's like they only come in once in a while, restocking the fridge and taking things then leaving Jeno alone like he never existed. I just have to be there as his company. I feel bad fo-"

Taeyong raised a hand. "I heard this story so many times, Mark. You spend too much time there today. Care to share what happened?" 

Mark fidgeted in his seat. Taeyong is the leader as well, he deserves to know. Renjun will be the next leader of Dream soon... he deserves to know as well. 

"It's ridiculous to be honest." He began, scratching the back of his neck. 

Renjun looked away from his book and gazed at Mark, expecting answers coming out from the older's lips. 

The Canadian sighed. "I honestly don't know whether Jeno wants you two to know. Or particularly anyone. I forced the answer out of him-"

" You managed to ask him why he's on hiatus." Renjun mumbled. 

"Yes, I did." Mark nodded his head, looking away from the eager pairs of eyes staring at him. "I myself don't know if it's acceptable. It took me a while to understand, to accept the fact he's on hiatus just because he is- he is-" 

"He is?" Taeyong asked softly. 

"Because he is pregnant."

Taeyong's eyes widened while Renjun gaped at the revelation. Mark closed his eyes. He knew it was such a huge thing to absorb. They didn't say anything, eyeing him expectedly. With a shaky voice, he told them everything. The news, the conversation between Jeno and Jaemin, the knife- everything. Mark closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands, groaning. 

"It must be hard on him to go through all this." Taeyong spoke, playing with his fingers. 

Renjun hadn't said a thing, only stared away to space. Mark could feel himself tear up and he couldn't be bothered to wipe them away. The oldest in the room got up from his seat and sat beside Mark, wrapping an arm around the latter's shoulder. 

"I know you care about Jeno a lot-"

"I love him, hyung. I really do." Mark said desperately. "I would do everything for him. Jaemin didn't care about him at all anymore- in fact he is mad. He's broken. And I want to be the one who would piece him back. I want to stay that way. His saviour. I love him so much."

" I know, Mark. I saw how you beam everytime Jeno comes by. I noticed how your eyes light up when Jeno popped up on TV. I could feel the heartbreak and disappointment when Jaemin and Jeno announced to the group that they are together. You hide it well from others but you can't hide it from the person who had raised you." Taeyong said, putting on a smile, tucking hair behind Mark's ear. "This is real love, Mark. You spent every free time you had which is so hard to obtain just for Jeno. You made sure Jeno felt accompanied, not lonely. You made your way to find Jeno's address and didn't stop even though the managers refused to say anything about him."

"You even cried out of frustration when Jeno didn't trust you." Renjun piped in. 

"You see Mark, it's not wrong to love but we are idols. I'm not stopping your relationship with Jeno. I just want you to learn how to do this subtly. Come back on time, don't mention about Jeno too often and always remember the managers have every right to know what is going on. Plan your time properly, Mark. It will save both you and Jeno." The older advised, looking into Mark's teary eyes. 

"I will. I'll try." The Canadian murmured. 

Taeyong pressed a kiss on the rapper's temple and patted his hand. "Remember, I am always here for you."

The leader left the room, leaving the two by themselves. Mark wiped the tears away and hung his head low. He let out a shaky breath as he tried to handle the internal stress overwhelming him. Too caught up in his thoughts, he failed to hear the creak of the bed and the shift of weight on the mattress. 

"You know... I can be mean and cranky almost all the time but you can always ask me for help. I am your roommate after all, a meter away from your bed." Renjun assured, pulling the older male into a hug.

"Thanks, Injun. I appreciate it." Mark said, putting on a smile, hugging him back. 

The Chinese pulled away and got up. "About what Jaemin said about having me... does he know I don't have any feelings for him?" He murmured. 

"I don't know, Jun."

Renjun frowned and got up, leaving the room. Mark flopped back on his bed and started at the wall. Things are getting complicated and it's starting to get overwhelming. He rubbed his face with his hands frustratingly. Letting out a grumble, he ran a hand through his hair, lips pursed. His phone was silently sitting on the mattress and Mark couldn't help but pick it up to send a text to Jeno. 

**to: jenojaem ♥**   
**hey how are you?**

The reply was instant. 

**from: jenojaem ♥**   
**im good**   
**you made me feel better from all that shit**   
**^°^**

A smile formed on Mark's lips. 

**to: jenojaem ♥**   
**glad to hear that**

**from: jenojaem ♥️**   
**did you manage to reach back to the dorms on time?**   
**im sorry if you got in trouble**

**to: jenojaem ♥**   
**nah i was a lil late**   
**no one noticed**

**from: jenojaem ♥**   
**good for you then**

**to: jenojaem ♥**   
**hey um....**   
**i told renjun and taeyong hyung what happened**   
**i hope you're okay with that**   
**i mean they knew i was visiting you**   
**and i think they deserve to know....**   
**jeno?**

**from: jenojaem ♥**   
**no worries hyung**   
**im okay with that**   
**as long as they don't tell anyone else**   
**especially you know who**

**to: jenojaem ♥**   
**i get the message**   
**you'll be okay if i dont come over tonight, right?**

**from: jenojaem ♥**   
**a lil sad about it**   
**but im okay for tonight**   
**i don't want you to get in trouble again**

**to: jenojaem ♥**   
**i'll make it up tomorrow alright?**   
**there's only some recording to do tomorrow**

**from: jenojaem ♥**   
**hyung**   
**i dont mind**   
**as long as you don't get in trouble im fine**

**to: jenojaem ♥**   
**okay bb**   
**get some rest, okay?**

**from: jenojaem ♥**   
**i am XD**   
**okay hyung imma go now**   
**love you**

**to: jenojaem ♥**   
**love you too baby**

  
**Mark had an idiotic smile on his face when he placed the phone down. He let out a sigh of content. He found himself a boyfriend. Maybe. He grabbed the towel on his bed and made his way to the bathroom to take a bath. Something to release the tense accumulated in his muscles. He was out from the shower after a few minutes and stood in front of the mirror. Damn he looked drained. Juggling between busy schedules and visiting Jeno was tiring. After splashing his face with warm water, he stepped out from the bathroom only to jump at the sight of Haechan siting at his bed.**

"Bro. Don't do that." Mark scolded, putting a hand on his chest. 

Haechan only shrugged. "Taeyong hyung refused to tell me why you missed the meeting and I would love to be that annoying piece of shit who would push for answers but by the looks of it you're so fucking tired so I'll just tell you what you missed." He rambled, using his petty voice. "Since plans for NCT 2018 is postponed to the end of the year, SM is bringing forward our Japan debut. So we're going to have continuous meetings, dance practices and recordings. I mean that shouldn't be new to you as well. I'm just telling you cause I am a good friend."

Mark blinked at the other's self praise. "Uhm... thanks for informing. So when are we starting?" 

"In a week's time."

_Shit. One week left to spend with Jeno before not seeing him at all._

"Oh okay then. Thanks Hyuck." Mark said. 

He looked at the younger and waited for him to leave his room. All he get was a raise of an eyebrow. 

"You look troubled. Want to tell me what's going on in your head?" Haechan asked.

"Uh no. I'm fine. So can you please leave? I need to put on my clothes."

Haechan left without a word. Mark groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. It felt like a daily routine to see Jeno. He won't be seeing Jeno tonight and it made him feel empty. It was like Jeno's presence was a part of him. He poked his head through his shirt. It's going to be hard for him. After dressing up fully he left his room, stress evident on his face. 

"You look stressed. You okay?" Renjun asked, with a sleepy Chenle clinging onto him. "Issit Jeno?" He mouthed. 

"Later." Mark brushed him off. 

 

 

 

Without wasting any time Mark rushed out of the studio, hurriedly putting on his cap and mask. He knew what he was going to do today. It was going to be different and Mark was slightly nervous about his plan. Renjun came up with the base of the plan, Mark only added things. He flagged for a taxi and tapped his feet impatiently. He wont have that much time, he had underestimated the time needed for the recording. It's almost four in the afternoon now and Mark had only two hours before his "curfew" at six. 

"Thank you." Mark said when the driver started to move. 

He looked at his phone and sighed. The trip takes half an hour if there isn't any traffic jam. He closed his eyes and hoped for the best. Luck was on his side that time, he arrived at Jeno's apartment at about twenty five minutes. After paying the driver he practically ran to the lift to bring him to Jeno's apartment. Mark knocked onto the door and beamed when the door opened. 

"You're here! I thought you won't come!" Jeno exclaimed. 

Mark scanned down at the latter. Jeno was wearing a simple oversized tee and shorts underneath, unlike the usual sweatshirts he used to wear. The little bump was slightly visible through the thin fabric of the shirt. It seemed like Jeno couldn't bother hiding the baby bump anymore. He smiled and pressed a kiss on the younger's lips. 

"Missed me?" The Canadian asked. 

Jeno pouted. "Of course I did!" 

The older chuckled. "So, will you let me in?" 

The pregnant male gasped and stepped away from the door. "Oh yes, come in."

Mark may have noticed small changes in Jeno's body. He had gained a little weight overnight and as he passed the kitchen, he might have noticed a few dirty dishes sitting in the sink. He held onto Jeno's wrist and gazed deeply into the latter's eyes. 

"How are you?" Mark asked, kissing Jeno's hand. 

The younger blushed a deep crimson. "G-Good."

Mark cupped Jeno's face and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled at the shocked and flustered look on Jeno's beautiful features. 

"You're so beautiful." He said, kissing him deeply again. 

Jeno hid his face right when they pulled away. The Canadian laughed and scooped him into his arms, peppering his face with kisses. 

"I missed you~" Mark whined against Jeno's cheek. 

A giggle escaped the younger's lips. "You saw me yesterday." He said. 

"I still missed you."

"Aigo. I miss you too alright."

Mark placed Jeno down and squeezed the latter's arm. "You're gaining weight. It's-" 

Tears welled up in Jeno's eyes. "Am I f-fat?" 

"N-No!" Mark panicked. "It's a good thing! You're so skinny last time. I'm happy you gained weight."

Jeno pouted. "I look ugly when I'm fat."

"You don't, Jeno. And you're not fat. I just.... want you to eat more. I want to see the baby bump more evidently."

Blush spread across Jeno's cheeks. He looked away shyly when Mark rubbed his hand against his small stomach. He had never felt so loved. He doesn't like to compare, but being with Mark was way better than being with Jaemin. The older kissed his forehead and whispered. 

"I'm sorry I can't stay so long. I have a curfew from now on." He apologised. 

"Until what time?"

"Six."

"That's only in an hours time...."

Mark tugged a stray strand of hair behind Jeno's ear. "What do you want to do?" 

"Cuddle?"

"My arms are open."

 

_"I am worried for him. Really."_

_"Why? He's fine. With Mark always visiting him, he'll be perfectly fine."_

_"How do you know? We didn't even give him our contact number and it has been two months since we left for Japan."_

_"Soojung calm down. He's fine."_

_"Do you even love him, Jinyoung? Do you even care about our son? Ever since he came out gay, you are doing anything to refrain him from getting closer. You're just feeding on his money."_

_"Dont talk like that. You feed on his money as well."_

_"But I want to be there. Why can't you support him the way I do? Why must you bring me away from him? I love him. Love him as well."_

_"Don't you see how much our child has changed? He's gay and PREGNANT. Do you think I don't have the right to get mad? He's ruining the bloodline. And you were once okay with the idea."_

_"I changed my mind. I'm not cruel like you and no one cares about the bloodline but you. I am heading back to Korea. I don't care if you're going to follow or not. I am going to see my son and I'm going to stay there. I'm sick and tired of lying to him."_

_"Suit yourself, Soojung."_

_"Don't come back."_

 

  
**hello my fellow readers~ im sorry for the late update ^^ i hope this pays it off tho it kinda sucks. it's a bit shorter than the usual 3k. sorryy. anyways do comment and vote please~ ilysm**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this kinda sucks, it was shorter than the usual 3k words per chapter. im getting tired you know, sigh. anyways ilysm for supporting me and do comment below on what you think uwu


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jeno spends the day outside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY JISUNGIEE

"What in an entire world are you doing with those bags?"

Jeno wasn't given an answer as Mark dropped them to the ground. He raised an eyebrow and looked at the other for answers. Three things were odd today. One, he was way too early. His curfew is literally five hours away. Two, Mark popped up with three full bags of things inside which Jeno had no clue of. And lastly, Mark seemed rushing?

"God these was a load to carry." The Canadian murmured.

"I asked you a question." Jeno sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "What's with the bags?"

Mark huffed and faced the younger. "We're going out today. And I have gotten you enough clothing to wear."

Jeno blinked. "I'm not allowed out, Mark. And why is there so many clothes then?" He wondered, peeking into the clothe filled bags, eyeing the amount of clothes there was.

"We are going to hide ourselves okay? Don't worry. I have the right outfits for you." Mark assured, eyes falling on the small little bump. "So no one can notice us."

"Are you sure you have this nicely planned?" Jeno's voice wavering with worry. "If the managers know or if fans leak information that I'm outside, I m-might get kicked out of NCT."

The Canadian cupped Jeno's cheeks and kissed him gently on the lips. "Don't worry about this, baby. I have everything planned nicely. Do you trust me?" He whispered against Jeno's lips.

"I trust you... I'm just scared." The younger admitted, looking away from Mark.

"I'm here so don't be."

Jeno broke into a smile and hugged the older, sighing. "I love you."

"I love you too." Mark replied, pecking the latter's ear lovingly.

He pulled away and gazed at the artwork standing before him. Oh how much he loves Jeno. Realising what he was here for, he bent down to reach the bags of clothing, fishing out a white oversized long sleeved shirt and baggy jeans. Jeno looked at him in horror.

"There is no way am I going to wear that." He said, eyes wide.

"Why not?"

"I don't wear that kind of stuff outside."

Mark sighed. "The whole point is to hide you so no one can recognise you. I am going to dress you a way people can't see you in." He explained slowly, pushing the outfit into Jeno's arms.

The younger only pouted. "But I'll look ugly in this." He said, looking down at the outfit he's holding onto.

"Baby, you will never be ugly." Mark kissed Jeno's forehead tenderly. "Now wear them so we can leave as soon as possible,okay? I have four hours before my curfew."

"Okay." Jeno softly replied.

Jeno didn't take forever to change, walking out of his room in just minutes. Mark cooed and pecked him unexpectedly. The shirt fit Jeno so damn well, hiding the baby bump nicely even if he moved around. The latter blushed a deep red, burying his face into Mark's shoulder in embarrassment, whining out loud.

"Don't do that!" He said, punching Mark's shoulder lightly.

Mark smiled and fished out a white mask from his pocket before fixing it on Jeno. He threaded his fingers between Jeno's soft and now long black locks of hair.

"You're so beautiful." He breathed, moving Jeno's fringe to cover his eyes.

"Hyung, I can't see." Jeno deadpanned.

"You can link my arms with yours while we walk." Mark grinned, taking out a mask for himself and Jeno.

"What if I trip-"

"I will hold you. I won't let you go. Don't worry."

Jeno sighed and pecked Mark on the lips, blush on his cheeks. He took the mask that was held out to him and put it on.

"You're so beautiful, gosh." Mark breathed, intertwining their hands together.

Behind the mask Jeno's cheeks burned a bright red. "N-no...."

"You're beautiful and no one can say otherwise."

The younger whined. "Why are you such a confident gay."

"Only gay for you, baby."

After a series of cheesy and ridiculous pick up lines from Mark, the two finally stepped out from the apartment, walking hand in hand down the halls and into the streets. Too preoccupied with each other, they didn't notice the woman that had alighted the taxi nearby.   
  
  


_"How are you feeling, Jeno?"_

_"Sick. Really sick."_

_"Have you been eating right?"_

_"I couldn't bring myself to eat. I vomit everything that enters my stomach."_

_"What about sleep? Have you been getting enough rest?"_

_"Barely. I keep waking up for the bathroom."_

_"Have you been feeling a little weird?"_

_"These days, yeah."_

_"We will run some tests first and we'll analyse your blood before you are given the green light to come back to the company. You may be suffering from a temporary illness or something worse. But before I conclude, I would like you to go rest in my office before I run some test on you. Is that okay?"_

_"Yeah. But may I ask what tests will you be running?"_

_"Blood test, urine test, ultrasound test. Normal stuff."_

_"W-Why ultrasound test?"_

_"I have flipped through your file and there is a requirement for you to take ultrasound tests at this rate. Don't worry. It doesn't kill."_

_"I know. I'm just.... worried."_

_"Don't be worried. Follow my assistant to my office. There is a couch for you to sleep on. Help yourself for some Milo and biscuits if you're hungry."_

_"I'm hungry at all."_

_"Oh. Well that's a worry. Your friend says you haven't eaten for the past 8 hours. Anyways, I recommend you to take a gummy or two from the bottle on my desk. Get some sugar running in you, okay?"_

_"Alright."_

_"If you feel a little better or worse, do inform my assistant. Maybe she can help."_

_"I will."_

_"Now go. Rest well. I'll be back in an hour."_

_"Thank you, Donghae-hyung."_

_"It's nothing, Jeno-yah. Just for my nephew."_   
  
  


"It's baby's first time going out."

Jeno whispered, rubbing his baby bump while leaning against Mark as they walked.

"It surely is." The older chuckled, kissing the latter's head briefly through the mask.

Jeno giggled and laid his head on Mark's shoulder, looking up lovingly at his lover through his black strands of hair. "I love you." He whispered.

"Love you too baby."

Mark stopped in his tracks and looked up at the sign. Jeno followed suit and gasped.

"A unicorn cafe?!" He exclaimed, eyes bulging out of its sockets.

The Canadian hummed. "You can get your milkshakes here."

"I love you I love you I love you I love you." chanted Jeno before pulling Mark into the cafe, eyes shining in excitement.

The pregnant male gaped at the pastel colors of the shop, eyeing the unicorn related decorations all over the room. He squealed and jumped up and down, before he was being stopped by a pair of hands holding him on the waist.

"No jumping around, baby." Mark whispered. "You're pregnant."

Jeno blushed and covered his face when Mark rubbed the little bump under his shirt. He never felt so loved before.

"Let's not waste time and order, shall we?"  The older said, smiling.

The younger shyly nodded and intertwined their hands, queuing in line. The queue was unconditionally long, Mark had told Jeno to take a seat while he waits in line. Jeno didn't hesitate since he was beginning to feel tired. He sat on a pastel blue colored armchair and let out a sigh. It's suffocating under that mask for a long time. He rubbed his tummy and waited.

"Baby's going to have his first unicorn milkshake." He mumbled.

Mark placed two cups of rainbow colored milkshakes, sliding one exceptionally big one to Jeno who's clapping in excitement. He signalled at the latter to lower his mask, just low enough to drink. He smiled lovingly as he watched Jeno take little sips of milkshake, both hands on the cup, eyes criss-crossed, staring at the pink colored straw.

"Thank you, hyung." Jeno said, giving the older his signature eyesmile.

"I love you too." Mark replied.   
  
  
  
  


Renjun played with Chenle's hair, gazing down on the young Chinese who's attention is entirely on the movie. He wouldn't admit to anyone but Mark (if he was ever forced to answer) that he had grown affection of Chenle. The said male is loud, undeniably loud but that just made Renjun love him more.

"Ge, what do you think Jeno hyung is doing?" Chenle asked, looking up from lying down on Renjun's lap.

"I don't know. Maybe he's sick? Healing?" The older lied.

"But why didn't we visit him? Why are we refrained from seeing him? Jaemin hyung allowed us to come over."

"It's complicated. The managers probably think it's better if we don't come. Maybe it'll affect Jeno?"

"But I miss him..."

"Why don't you leave a message to Jeno? He probably doesn't want anyone to come over but maybe sending him a message would be enough to show him that you care."

"You sure, Ge?"

"It's up to you darling."

The door to the dorms swung open. Renjun's expression went grim as he had his eyes on Jaemin who has his arms linked around a random rookie's and practically running towards his room. His hands clenched into fists. He wanted to snap Jaemin back to his senses but it will only make things worse. The two went straight into their room and Renjun knowing what they are about to do, immediately tapped on the male lying down beside him.

"Hey, I heard a new song today. Want to hear it?" Renjun whispered.

Chenle looked at the older and nodded. "I'm tired of my playlist."

"Let's go to the garden instead. It's nicer to hear it up there."

An unpleasant sound resonated in the empty dorm and Renjun who was the last to leave, banged the door shut, almost trapping his earpiece against the door.   
  
  
  


The afternoon was quite slightly cooler than in the noon, Jeno and Mark sitting by the lake, hands intertwined as wind brushed through their faces. Their masks were around their necks, finally letting their faces breath as there was no one passing by. At most there would be an old cleaner cleaning the side of the lake. Jeno hummed and closed his eyes, listening to the song playing softly in their shared airpods.

"I want to do more of these." Jeno whispered.

Mark smiled before it faltered. He nervously chuckled. "Yeah."

He bit his lip. He was supposed to bring Jeno out with intentions to teach him how to live outside the apartment while he is busy with Japan promotions. He gulped. How was he going to break the news?

 _In two days. I'll tell him in two days._ He told himself.

"Aren't you tired?" Mark asked. "We've been walking for a while."

"Nah.." Jeno answered, opening his eyes. "Milkshake does the work."

"Baby is reliant on the milkshake huh."

"Very."

At the mention of the baby growing in him, Jeno instinctively rubbed his baby bump lovingly. He frowned at the truth.

"It's Jaemin's child." He murmured.

It brought down Mark's mood as well. "Yeah, what about it?"

"It's not yours."

"Sadly."

Jeno shifted to face Mark fully and kissed him deeply on the lips. "Let me give birth to this baby and you can make me carry your child." He whispered lowly.

Mark's eyes darkened as he placed his hands on Jeno's now slightly broad hips. "I won't waste a minute, baby." He growled.

The afternoon then became heated. Jeno sat on Mark's lap, kissing the lights out of the older, rubbing their lower bodies together. Their lips moved in sync together, moans and groans escaping their lips. Mark didn't expect things to go this far.

"Sorry." He apologised, rubbing a thumb over Jeno's red swollen lips.

"It's okay." Jeno smiled, getting off Mark's lap.

Mark glanced at his watch. "Shit. We should be heading back now." He mumbled, getting up from his position on the floor.

"Yeah, we should." Jeno said, a little tinge of disappointment in his voice.

"I wish I could spend more time but idol duty calls." The older said sadly.

"It's okay. It's my fault anyways trusting Jaemin so much with my body."

"It's not your fault, baby. Don't you ever dare say that."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"Love you, baby."

"Love you too, hyung."  
  
  
  


_She paced around in the apartment. She fiddle with her sweaty fingers, mumbling incoherent words. She ran her hand through her aging black hair. She was nervous. Everyone can tell. She looked at the cup of tea sitting on the kitchen table. She hopes it's enough._   
  
  
  


Jeno sipped onto the somewhat fourth cup of milkshake as they walked back to the apartment. Mark has his arm around Jeno, hopefully covering the pregnant male from the crowd's sight. He would be lying if he said he wasn't scared. Jeno is an emotionally unstable boy with pregnancy hormones making things worse. He wondered how Jeno would react to the news. He pursed his lips.

 _Should I tell now?_ He contemplated.

"Um.. Jeno?"

"Yeah?"

Mark's heart softened as he gazed down at Jeno. His hands were adorably wrapped around the rainbow coloured cup and there was a marshmallow fluff decorating his face like a mustache.

_Maybe save it for later._

"There is something on your face." Mark informed, fishing out a tissue from his pocket.

The two stopped in their tracks, Mark wiping Jeno's marshmallow fluff off his face. Jeno giggled and stole a peck from Mark.

"Jeno careful. We are already attracting attention for being gay. You're gonna attract more since your mask is lowered." The older warned while Jeno pouted.

"Sorry. I just love you so much."

Mark sighed and pulled down his mask to kiss Jeno on the forehead. "I love you more."

The milkshake cup was emptied in just minutes and Jeno insisted on keeping it since it was cute. The couple walked hand in hand to the lobby, masks up, covering their faces.

"Well, see you tomorrow then." Mark said, putting his hands inside his pocket.

Jeno smiled and took his mask off. "What about the clothes?"

"Keep them. They are for you after all."

Blush crept up to Jeno's pale cheeks. "Thanks, hyung."

"No problem baby." The Canadian looked at his watch and lovingly kissed Jeno's forehead and rubbed his tummy. "I have to go now. You should rest and make yourself something for dinner later, okay? Call me or text me if you need something."

"Alright." Jeno nodded. "Bye~"

Mark jogged away, waving his hands. He pressed the button to the lift and tapped his feet. That went well. He frowned at the thought of telling Jeno his purpose of bringing him out. Planning and promoting would take months. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He hopes Jeno would take the news well.   
  
  


_He threw the cup of tea onto the floor, shattering it into pieces, hot liquid on the carpeted floor of the apartment. His blood was boiling. He looked up to see her face of shock and horror. Tears ran down his cheeks. She tried to explain but he didn't allow her to._

_"Get out."_

_"Please, listen to me-"_

_"Did you listen to me the first time?! GET OUT!"_

_"Jeno, darling-"_

_"GET OUT!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so so sorry for the delay like really i am. i hope you like this chapter. it's very rushed if you noticed. im also sorry if there are typos in this chapter. my chapters are also getting shorter. sigh. anyways i have a schedule up, hopefully i would follow an update as written.
> 
> updates for hidden secrets will be on jeno's, mark's and chenle's birthday uwu. 
> 
> anyways how was this chapter. it's a mess tbh. sigh. do comment on what you think uwu
> 
> love you all for staying by my side and waiting. thank you ♥


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